PEW PEW PEW LASIK!

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Hola mi amigos,

Today I will be blogging about my Lasik experience that I just did recently. I am not sponsored by the clinic for this post. I found this clinic on my own and chose this doctor because he won many accolades and gained media recognition.

But a shout out to a friend of mine R who helped me through this rough patch. I don’t know how I would have survived this without your aid.

So this post is just to let any of my readers who too wishes to do Lasik be it due to your own wish for convenience, or because like me, you just cannot wear contact lenses anymore.

I hope this can help u prepare yourself for the surgery in case you have a phobia of such things. ( I have no phobia/fear of surgeries or pain ) Even for someone like me, I would rate the surgery procedure about 7/10 for discomfort and it may be scary for some people.

The clinic that I chose is called Lee Hung Ming Eye Centre, located right inside Gleneagles, level 2.

& Obviously, the name of the clinic is the exact name of the Doctor who will be attending to and operating on you. There are a few types of Lasik procedure. You may call them or google to find out more.

I did I-LASIK, which is the “Gold standard” that is supposedly the best and the latest, used by pilots and astronauts. It costs about 4.8k SGD excluding consultation fees. The doctor did throw in a 400 dollar discount which may be a marketing gimmick la. But sure sounds comforting to hear the word DISCOUNT.

 

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Some snaps of the numerous achievements and newspaper articles of Doctor Lee below. So impressive actually.

People ask me why not do it in other countries or other clinics which are cheaper, however my eyes already fucking infected + I only have 1 pair of eyes. I really think its better to have a peace of mind than to save on money but get implications in the long run.

 

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Drink some coffee and eat free biscuits while reading the articles, feeling a tad bit ashamed of your own shitty life at the same time. What have I achieved, other than being a useless fuck? HAHA

 

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Doctor Lee is a handsome and charming man. ( Sorry girls hes married ) So we did an eye test, and apparently my infection caused my cornea to be damaged so I couldn’t do the lasik immediately.

He saw me burst into tears upon hearing the news and he was really caring and sincere about wanting to help me get better. Every time I visited him, he always greeted me with a bright and cheery smile and it made me feel better.

Seeing the high volume of patients he has at the clinic, I am sure his bright personality gave him his clients.

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On the day of the surgery, I had to do one last eye test to see if the cornea is “Ready” for doing the lasik. ALL CLEAR!!! I donned the scrub and had to wear the shower cap as shown below. I look like a hideous blue mario but fuck who cares.

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The nurse will instill 2 things into your eyes, 1 is quite uncomfortable – it stings. The second is Nap Con A or some shit – An eyedrop to soothe the sting and to whiten your eyes.

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The eyedrops pictured below.

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You will also have to “measure” your degree, what will look perfect for you. Kinda like being at the optician.

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THE SURGERY:

I wasn’t able to take any photos because duh I was blind and handicapped during the operation. So my fantastic paint skills are here to save the day.

So right before the surgery, you will sit in the chair. It resembles those at the dental clinic. Numbing eyedrops will be instilled. You may wonder if its effective since they use it right before the surgery – but yes, I did not feel any pain. Only discomfort.

Doctor Lee said “Focus on the blinking light”

And trust me, You will be thankful for the blinking light LOL because without it, you will get distracted by the discomfort and sounds that you are about to hear.

The blinking light is something like below, but faster. Its a rapidly blinking light that is right above you.

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Focus and tell yourself to channel your willpower to just NOT blink. JUST KEEP LOOKING AND LOOKING AT LOOKING AT THE LIGHT!

 

First step:

I am not really sure what the doctor did here but basically, he first places some suction thingy on your eye. This is the most uncomfortable in my opinion. Your eyeball literally feels like its coming out and you are unable to move. Something will shine onto your eye or some shit, I really dont know. But there’s no pain. However, you won’t be able to see anything. I think its some sort of liquid or light that goes into ur eye. In the background, you will hear the nurse counting down for you.

Thank god its fucking fast like, 15 secs. BUT YOU HAVE TWO EYES.

 

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So yeah, he rotated my chair to the left to do the 15 secs shit, comes back to the right, suction off right, then onto left, then do it again. Then

IT STARTS.

Second step:

I find this part the most creepy and gaowei. So basically the doctor had to cut the cornea and lift it up like a flap. AND YOU ARE AWAKE SO U CAN SEE IT.

YOU CAN SEE THAT PLASTIC LOOKING THING BEING LIFTED FROM UR EYE. AND YOU KNOW IT IS NOT PLASTIC. ITS PART OF U. ITS UR FUCKING CORNEA 😥

 

Third step:

The laser. PEW PEW PEW. And it smells like…. you know those Japanese restaurants that torch the salmon sushi lightly to roast it on the surface and it has that charcoal smell. You will smell that when the laser is working on your eye. I have done Aviva laser on my face before, ( I blogged about it years back) So this step does not faze me. There’s also no pain, don’t worry.

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Remember, look at the blinking light! Cuz you will really motherfucking want to blink but you can’t, duh, they will KIAP YOUR EYES OPEN SO U CANT BLINK.

 

Fourth step:

THE DOCTOR said to me “Congrats! You have a new eye” and he sounded super happy with his work. He then proceeded to FUCKING PASTE THE CORNEA BACK ONTO MY EYE omg I’m so ded.

That gaowei feeling again and then, he uses some sort of like a brush and just gently brush your cornea into place. LIKE WTF

JUST GENTLY PATTING YOUR CORNEA BACK ONTO UR EYE LIKE ITS SOME !??!??! SOME WALL.

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Then, remember, you have another eye.

 

AFTER SURGERY:

After repeating the 4 steps on my other eye, I couldn’t see shit but can still open my eyes abit. I fumbled my way into a small dark room where the post lasik patients are to lie and rest for awhile. LIKE A REALLY SHORT WHILE.

Doctor called me out after a few mins and I had to force my eyes open because he had to check my eyes on the machine again to make sure everything is done perfectly.

Checked, ok, and so I was good to go.

 

NEXT 4-6 hours:

Doctor said that he usually suggests popping a pill to make you drowsy to sleep through the next 4-6 hours because thats when your eyes will really FUCKING BURN

LIKE
SATAN
SPEWING
FIRE
ON
YOUR
EYES

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I really hate the feeling of the drowsy med so I actually just tahan through everything and the gif above summarizes it. LOL.

First 2 hours, I had to wear shades because I can’t fucking look at anything. And you can forget about using your phone cuz it looks like a rainbow colour thingy. You can’t read off the screen.

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Lycan could tell it was unbearable I guess, cuz he never left my side.

Your eyes will keep crying a fucking ocean and you just want to scream and dig your eyes out.

And yes your dustbin gonna look like this:

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But the doctor’s super accurate like, my eyes totally stopped having that burning feeling after 4.5 hours. I could finally open them and get something to eat.

However, everything will be fucking foggy like you have a thin film of whiteness over your eyes. BUT,

You will realize your vision is actually really sharp. This feeling :O :O :O

 

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I was bedridden for the rest of the day because no point doing anything since I couldn’t see. The doctor also mentioned its perfectly alright to use the computer or watch tv at night.

And true to his words, my eyes were feeling better by night time and I could even play dota LOL

My eyes healed like, the foggy thing went away after 2 days. I visited him the next day after surgery to do a post surgery check up.

My vision on the right eye isn’t 100% perfect as he has warned. However I knew this was gonna happen because my right eye has been the “lazy” eye since young and it was always blurred.

My left eye however is perfect and it recovered faster than the right.

Overall, I am really satisfied. Now, I do not have to worry about what’s gonna happen if there’s a zombie apocalypse and I forgot my specs.

Don’t laugh, I really kept wondering about that every time I have insomnia.

 

Here’s a photo of me and Doctor Lee. He’s really friendly and I do strongly recommend him. With 20 years of experience, you are in safe hands 🙂

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Hope this post is helpful for those contemplating Lasik 🙂

Christmas is here D:

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CHRISTMAS IS HEREEEEEEEE.

its fun to just wish for things you probably won’t be able to buy on ur own, or no one will ever buy for u BUT, you know, It’s the same as some girls like me who adds many beautiful things into the online shopping cart but never actually checking out.

Let us revel in that fantasy for a little while, okay? Make a wishlist of your own! And who knows, your Santa may be lurking nearby 😀

This wishlist is also for my sister and people who are exchanging presents with me cuz im a picky fuck. LIKE THERES NO WAY I’D ACCEPT A STARBUCKS MUG.

LOL don’t worry I have included ACTUAL things that are priced within humane range 😛
(Strikes are bought yay thanks lil shits) 

*UPDATE* Guys, Please note that items with STRIKEOUTS means someone bought it. If you are getting something for me, please do let me know so that I can strike it off 🙂 

 

NO 1. Dyson Airwrap

LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THIS THING IS AMAZING.

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NO 2. L’OCCITANE ALMOND OIL SHOWER 500 ML

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NO 3. SK II FACIAL TREATMENT ESSENCE 

For old hags like me……. sigh.

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NO 4. URBAN DECAY CHERRY 

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NO 5. CHANEL PASSPORT HOLDER IN BLACK

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TO DIE FOR 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 SATAN IS CALLING ME TO SELL MY SOUL FOR THIS
BOY CHANEL IN PYTHON & GOLD

 

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NO 7. Hermes Midsummer night’s dream silk scarf 36 x 36

 

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NO 8. REJURAN HEALER AT TCS X1 SESSION

 

NO 9. 3 boxes of KINOHIMITSU BB DRINK

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NO 10. IPHONE CHARGING CABLE 2M + ADAPTER. 

 

NO 11. PANDORA ROSE LOGO HEART PENDANT + NECKLACE

To complete my rose gold collection XD XD XD

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NO 12. RAZER DEATH ADDER IN CHROMA!

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*UPDATE, I added a few more items D:* 

 

NO 13: L’Occitane Repairing series of Shampoo, conditioner (buy the refills!), and x 2 bottles of hair repairing oil

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NO 14: SK II MASKS X2 BOXES

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NO 15: EVERY COOK’S DREAMMMMM, Le Creuset Cast Iron Round Ink Dutch OVEN w. LID. IN ORANGE XD

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Dream… dream more HAHAHA

Will be updating with a Spa review, and some photos from my recent trips.

Death is a reward.

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I dreamed of him again, his fingers thrashing wildly in my clammed up vagina. My nipples were erect, not from pleasure, but from shame. His pot belly was sliding conveniently across my breasts, all the way up, till his penis found its way into my unwilling mouth, forcing my lips apart, the entire shaft went down my throat.

I grasped the sheets so tight, eyes clenched shut. A single, angry tear rolled down my cheek, disappearing down the snow white pillow without a trace. The room was silent, as though filled with a crowd of invisible, awkward spectators, all listening to the sound of me gagging.

He then fucked me, perspiration running down his temple. I laid still, my body stiffly rocking to his plunges. I wanted to throw up. I felt as though my ribs were buckling under his weight. I could smell his sweat and taste that overpowering stench of lust and greed. His penis stuck in like a sore entrapment.

“I will see you again. And I will fuck you harder. I own you, bitch.”

I left the room, my body felt like it was on fire. I wanted to throw my dirty self down a building. But all the inspiration quotes I read the day before acted like a guide, calming my frenzied mind, holding back my impulse… of death.

How can I die? I have to repay my parents for raising me. I have to make sure he won’t post up dirty stories of me, smearing my name with rancid bullshit even after I am stone cold in a casket.

I locked myself in my room, where I was supposed to feel the safest. I slapped myself over and over again. I deserved to be punished. For allowing a fat, disgusting mad man to degrade me this way. Desecrate my life, ripping it to shreds, until there’s no shadow to my own soul. I took out a whip and lashed out at my vagina. This disgusting piece of flesh that was raped and abused. I wanted so much, for it to be removed from my body.

The pain comforted me. I told myself this bitter punishment will relief me a tad bit from this horrible sin.  The physical treatment was like a weaponry pastor. I prayed to the rod for forgiveness.

I slammed my head against the wall, as if the memories could be knocked out from the impact.

*BANG*

*BANG*

*BANG*.

With each stronger blow I dealt, the lesser I felt. I continued doing it until everything goes numb, my face red from the hard slaps, my lower body paralyzed from the lashes. I lie down on my bed, quivering, shaking, crying. Still, my soul chose not to dissipate. Still, my heart beats. My body wanted to live. I had to crawl through the brambles of life’s cruel, existing torment.

I realized by then, epiphany through sheer misery; that death… is a reward.

And I do not deserve it yet.

Drag your feet, trudge through the grime. Let dirt decorate your skin but never taint your soul. Breathe, like the world owes you. Cling on harder and harder like an adamant root in the eroded soil. Cling on to life.

 

Will marry for a pet lizard.

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HI HI HI

It has been 500000 years since I blogged. I apologize for that. Had been sum real crazy weeks so far. Here’s to many more blogposts ahead. I thank y’all for always being here reading my shit despite me being pretty non-existent.

I pray words don’t forsake me, I am repentant and i will blog more ok.

Been wanting to do this quick blog post on a really cute lil reptilian cafe in Bangkok, Pratunam area yeah boy cuz Im a fucking typical tourist.

Set inside Neon street, (Talad Neon Night market) It’s super near GLOW pratunam so you can’t miss it.

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It’s right at the corner, so it’s easy to locate. You’ll see lil tortoises outside. The entire cafe is made out of containers.

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You can buy “pets food” to feed the rabbits and tortoises outside. Pity you can’t put the hares vs torty to a race but they are cute as hell and will make your 30baht super worth it.

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They have 1 beetle, 3 spiders, quite a few lizards, 1 frog, 4 noisy birds, some smelly porcupines and a lot of snakes.

If you are a reptile lover like me, you’d be thrilled to know the lizards are part of your guests at the tables.

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Some lil hats for your scaly friends.

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And yes, your tables are actually the snakes’ home. So you may enjoy looking at the snakes from your glass tables while chowing down on your waffles with icecream. Reasonable food – But DO order their coconut shake. Its fantastic.

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You can also take out the snakes if you can’t just “LOOK, DONT TOUCH”. Because here, everything also can touch one. Except the staff.

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Conquered my fear of spideys today by getting started with diz really friendly tarantula who did nothing but just stood still on my palm like a docile ornament.

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Please visit this cute cafe’s facebook if you are interested to know more:

https://www.facebook.com/slowbutsurecafe/

But No, I will not be going anywhere near Brown recluses or Goliath bird eaters or whatever shit.

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PVP ESPORTS in SINGAPORE!

 

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So yeah, I spent like 3k rm on this beautiful CM arcana costume. I really liked it and I felt it was money well spent despite abit of hiccups here and there. The material is awesome and every detail is intricate and accurate.

I think most importantly its super comfortable and I can wear it for the whole day. You know me, its practicability that comes first xD

 

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Had a “fun and wild” night with Swifty from Signify, hailing from India. Signify represented India in PVP esports and pitted against teams like Team Secret, LGD and Fnatic.

The champion was claimed by Team secret.

I am open to cosplay shoots and event jobs, simply drop me a dm on instagram : valeisky
or email me at voirvaleisky@gmail.com

 

–

BIGO smallo

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My viewer took this unglam photo of me But i find it funny as hell HAHAHA.
Anyway if you guys would like to catch me stream on bigo, I stream for 50 hours a month on bigo with the ID: Valeisky

–

Will be posting again soon with some new pics and updates on my hair.
BY NEXT WEEK. I have made a death pact on this. YES REALLY.

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Signing off with love (for now but not FOREVER),
Your old and fat Goddess Valeisky

 

 

Subjugated.

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I think everyone has contemplated the intricate allure of death, if not many, at least once in their lives. We first enter this world, like a silken cloth, free from marring, from pollutants, from desecration. As we age, we start to grow. The growth of our physique may give our age away, but this aesthetic form; is just a mere facade, is it not?

At different phases of life, we birth many desires; some strange, some childish, some ridiculous. But in most phases of our life, we crave love.

That is one thing humans will never stop wanting. 

I reminisce sometimes, with a tinge of abhorrence, and pangs of disgust the one boy in my life that I spent 2 years of my life thinking he was what love really was about.

How wrong was I?

I am sure you have felt this before, your palms sweating, heart racing when the phone rings with a text from him. You schedule your every day around his ups and abouts, keeping time free and skipping your meals just to wait for his casual “Wanna meet for dinner?” You talk relentlessly to your friends about him, how cute he’d look in this 500$ shirt you just bought for him, and spend your days thinking of how to doll up better so he can finally say “you look nice.” (But obviously i never had the luxury to hear that from him.)

I have chased that guy, not only in a bid to get together with him, but also literally. Chased him down the streets publicly calling his name, tears strewn amok my cheeks, begging him to stop, but hell I wasn’t much of a runner but I sure was determined as fuck. What was I even chasing him for? What was I sorry about? Nothing. Evidently, I was sorry because that’s what he wanted to hear. I was chasing him because that was what he wanted to see.

My sister brought his name up again once during dinner days ago. She was laughing and joking about how amusing it is when I, the pathetic girl so madly in “love” with him, was mopping the floor with tears wetting the ground faster than the mop could do its work. I can, at that point, understood from her point of view, how comical it was. But the girl I once was, was so remotely shattered it felt like I died so many times over.

I remember that day, he had blocked me on all media. And back in those days there WEREN’T many platforms you could talk to someone on. He wanted a break up, for the millionth time, because he was in army and he has gotten bored of this plain jane with a flat chest who loved him so much, she gave him everything. With nothing left to offer.

The bed… felt like a coffin, with the ceiling closing in onto me. The computer was the devil’s advocate, whispering for me to do something crazy. And the window….. let’s not even go there.

So I tried to busy myself. I grabbed the mop and started cleaning like crazy. But this sadness it just wouldn’t leave me. And it felt like all purpose of living, all purpose of ME, myself, has forsaken me. If I could cry my heart out, that must have been that day I finally see how mine looks like.

But fast forward to 7 years till today, I finally realized that wasn’t love. I let him hang around even though he has “broken up” with me just because he wanted a quick outlet for sexual pleasures while I stupidly thought the physical contact could bring us closer on the emotional plane where he clearly didn’t want to co exist with me in.

If you are reading this and you find yourself in a similar situation, know your worth. It may be hard for you to leave, I tried a thousand times. But when he leaves, death is never the option.

Let me tell you what love is. Love is when you hold him close, for the 10000th time, but your heart doesn’t flutter. It calms. 

 

 

Keep fighting.

AU(shu)CKsland.

by

Some of you may know I disappeared for awhile to Auckland for a 10 day trip and came back with an empty wallet and a broken phone + 10 kgs to my body.

I am gonna write my itinerary cum experience here, just in case anyone of you would like to visit AUCKLAND, like me, at the worst time of the year : Winter

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So, lovely to be at Changi Aiport Departure lounge as a tourist not a slave worker. Saw my husband on the Mont Blanc poster like wth sweet sex.

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And as you can see I have completed my Tumi Set. (The rest are at home and one cargo bag is currently being loaded into the plane.)

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I apologize in advance and for that point of time for having to take their photo BUT I JUST CANNOT RESIST IT. Everyone on the plane looks like that. I guess NZ is a place for Angmohs to retire, I can tell you guys firmly now, YES ITS TRUE. the whole fucking plane all the chillax old angmohs.

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FEELS GUD TO BE SERVED INSTEAD OF SERVING AND NOW I FINALLY GET THE ACTUALLY USE THIS FUCKING KRISWORLD?

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Forehead game strong but stylist says “If you cut bangs I think you see liao rather get car banged” Ok, point taken.

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Day 1-3, WAIHEKE island, AUCKLAND.

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Took a 50 NZD uber to the ferry terminal. (taxi price 75-90 NDZ) Went to the wrong ferry terminal btw. I went to Half moon bay.

If you want to go to Waiheke, best to go from the “Auckland Downtown Ferry Terminal” They even have shuttle bus from the airport to the ferry. 

Bus: http://www.airbus.co.nz/
Ferry: http://www.fullers.co.nz/

CAUTION: DO NOT TAKE THEIR TAXIS BECAUSE UBER IS CHEAPER ESP FROM THE AIRPORT. 

Sea looks freaking amazing but you wouldn’t want to jump in there cuz you’re gonna end up like JACK from Titanic.

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Its sunny but cold. Was freezing when I took this photo because my Trenchcoat was in the cargo bag. I took sealink and its not cheap. Around 75 sgd, round trip.

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AIRBNB, WAIHEKE ISLAND:


I really love the house. It looks very well decorated and cheerful. The pathway of trees made it look like a mini island.

This stay however is the most expensive one, priced at 256 sgd for the mere 2 nights. I heard from the locals that only “Rich people” go to Waiheke because everything there is simply too expensive. I CANNOT AGREE MORE.

Winter day/night: At 4.30pm

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At 5.15pm

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I had to trudge around with a flashlight because the car rental was only for Auckland city, not the island. And I wasn’t ready to try out the taxis. Walked to the nearest restaurant open in the dark, and found

CABLE BAY VINEYARDS

Apart from another table, the entire restaurant was empty.

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The total damage really fucking damaging, bro.

Salmon Pizza, 29
Prawn Skewer (Note, 1 skewer. no S ), 28
Glass of Syrah, 17

This restaurant is called The Verandah. You may view their website here:

https://cablebay.nz/dining/the-verandah/
I dont know where they caught these 3 prawns from. But the pizza was pretty decent, so was the wine. However it was really pricey and I found it hard to stomach the prawns because for some reason it was under-cooked in the middle.

And so guys, they were kinda waiting to close the restaurant after the other couple left. You wouldn’t want to continue staying, do you?

Took a taxi back. Let me show you the meter:

IT FREAKING STARTS AT 6 DOLLARS are you kidding me? And please do note, I walked to the restaurant from the Airbnb by foot. That shows how short the total distance is.

My cab fare was 13 dollars for the quick 5mins ride.

And guess what I did after that? (Was only 8pm) Sleep.

DAY 2

It rained the whole day today. The depressing thing about Winter in NZ is that it’s not just fucking cold, its also super WET. 

Can you imagine having to dress up like a balloon and still have rain trickling down your face + your coat that can’t be washed, dry clean only. Fucking sian bro.

Had lunch at “The Oyster inn”

http://www.theoysterinn.co.nz/

It seems to be a super popular restaurant. The interior design was nice. But also super pricey. Food was good.

The lemonade however, was Soda + a slice of lemon and a slice of cucumber for 7 NZD.

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After lunch, strolled down the town area. Did nothing except buy a cheap shisha on stick. Went back to my room to sleep with my owl + high socks.

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SAW THIS WHILE WALKING PAST SHOPS. My god I almost went into Cardiac arrest because I thought they were staring at me ready to kidnap me and lock me underneath in a dungeon, and re enact the film Grotesque.

It was just an advertisement for, swim wear or hiking gear I think.

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Dinner at MUDBRICK vineyard. 

This is probably the highlight of the entire Waiheke stay, because this restaurant is super duper famous and popular. (And sibei expensive) Kinda like Michelin starred fine dining. So good thing its Winter, the entire restaurant had no one. Only 3 other tables came halfway through the meal.

 

I reckoned the view from on top of here would have been spectacular in the day. But the interior of the restaurant was amazing too. It was rustic and very homey.


The dessert was pretty disappointing but everything else was quite delicious.

http://www.mudbrick.co.nz/a-la-carte-menu/

I’d say if you ever go down to Waiheke, do pay them a visit. But then again please don’t go to the beautiful island during winter like me. I believe they have alot of fun stuff to do during the summer, + the beaches look incredible in photos.

 

DAY 3

Had to catch the 1345 ferry, thus took lunch at some random cafe before I left. Most of the shops serve potato & leek soup, or Pumpkin soup. Its either of em two. I think I kinda hate potatoes now after leaving AKL.

The cafe had good interior as well. I am not sure if it’s just a countryside thing but all the shops look so beautiful and well decorated. They all had lots of light, many plants and awesome furnishing.

But the food here was well. Expensive and below decent. The usual.

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BACK TO THE CITY MY GOD HUMANSSSSSSSSSSSSS CARRRRRSSSSSSS TRAFFICCCCCC.
You had no idea. Waiheke looked like everyone’s gone elsewhere to escape the depressing winter. Either that or they turned into zombies. There were like probably 2-3 cars that passed by me the entire time and maybe 1-2 pedestrians.

And most importantly,

STREET LIGHTSSSSSSS

Was nearby a fish market by the terminal and went to take a browse. Everything was really fresh but certainly pricey. Didn’t buy anything because well

Where the fuck am I gonna go with a large assed ded fish.

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scared fish GIF by Cheezburger

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PONSONBY

 

How else better to experience Ponsonby, Auckland, than by eating some local Fish and chips?

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It was a small and tidy shop. Very clean and the shop man or boss, was very friendly.

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Just had to take a photo because I love my burberry trenchcoat and I just hardly see it. It’s like having a long distance relationship because I only see it when I travel to cold countries. HAHA.

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I kno it looks like shit in the photo but i tell ya

ITS FUCKING TASTY

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AND CHEAP. One fish only 5 NZD + Onion Rings 6 NZD. You get to choose a sauce of your preference. Set meal: 10.50 NZD

https://hookponsonby.business.site/

The website looks fucking shady LMAOOOOOOOO but you should drop by if you visit this little town.

Idk was it because I kinda got jacked on the prices in Waiheke but finding this tasty and affordable fish and chips was like godsent.

I MEAN I REALLY WANT MY 3 DOLLARS CAI FAN RIGHT NOW.

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AIRBNB STAY AT PONSONBY:

Little studio separated from the main house. Damage: 155.32 for 2 nights.

 

I love the tasteful furniture as usual. Owner had a large grapefruit and avocado tree. My god I was so excited you have no idea.

Just in case any of you readers are alcoholics I have attached a piece of heaven for you.

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But I would still prefer my 2 litres of 6dollars red wine from Milan’s supermarket. The new world wines here in Auckland is still bloody expensive.

black and white fly GIF by RocketJump

Nightmarket 

 

Just as I was about to resign to fate that Auckland’s city is going to be like Waiheke, I took a trip to the night market. At least there’s actually some legit activities going on there. Like with real people and real stalls. LMAO. At around 8pm.

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Its damn smelly so be prepared to wash your fucking hair. And no matter what you do,

DO NOT ORDER THE CHINESE FOOD OR YOUR STOMACH WILL STOP BEFRIENDING YOU.

It tastes like the person has been cooking blindfolded.

team america vomit GIF

 

DAY 4 AUCKLAND ZOO

So, strategically choosing that particular AIRBNB, it’s like super near the zoo. Lmao. It’s about 50++ per ticket.

They have a bug exhibition at this time. I really like the Orchid mantis here.

However, none of the bugs were alive. They are either specimens or like the photo below, a constructed model.

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The bugs exhibition had lots of mini games and information that are great for entertaining school children.

Highlight of the day: This makeshift “press the button that lights up” mini arcade game.

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Yes I just had to let you guys know I am MANTIS SPEED.

I am really good at this I wonder why. I set a highscore in BKK’s arcade at MBK center few months back.

HELLO You must have been created by

PUNGA

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Saw some children’s innocent writings on the boards.

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With like, A legit # hashtag.

The only time I used # when I was a kid was for tic tac toe.

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The zoo is still under construction and it’s pretty small. Now I know why they say Singapore has the best zoo. I will never doubt my smol island again.

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I saw more seagulls than zoo animals.

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New word: Putangitangi

Shall attempt to scold pinoys that one day.

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Zoo trip finished by: 4pm
(It closes at 4pm so what do you expect)

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DAY 5 WARKWORTH / MATAKANA

Did a farmstay on the 5th day. It’s about a 2hour drive to the countryside, Warkworth.
Dropped by the Matakana Village Farmer’s market which is only available on Saturday mornings.

I fell in love with the picturesque view. Its really beautiful. One of the things I really love about Auckland.

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I JUST FOUND MY DREAM JOB: DOG MINDERS

 

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Many guud boys.

I loved the farmer’s market experience. It was quite small, but it was really nice. Fresh handmade stuff from cakes to crepes and even home farmed honey. I bought the Matakana Honey for my mum. Not sure real or fake but whatever la.

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This AIRBNB stay is probably my favorite in the entire vacation. The owner was amazing and we even watched a rugby game together. And did a BBQ on the second day.

Total damage: 150.61 for 2 nights.

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CAN YOU LOOK AT THE SIZE OF DEM CHICKENS SO FUCKING FAT AND HAPPY

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My icloud’s storage was full at this point in time so I no longer have all the photos I took, even of the BBQ. 

Anyway the owner rears his own chicken, sheep and bees. And of course his own greens. Pretty much self sustaining. Well he had to because the fucking mountain is a one way road and really high up.

Images of “Wrong turn to dead end” Kept popping up in my head during the drive up.

TE HANA TE AO MARAMA

One of the places I think you should visit would be the “Te Hana Te Ao Marama”. Its a tour that will introduce you to the rich heritage of the Maori people.

Its 28.50 per person for the tour. And I enjoyed listening to the guide talk about the story of Te Hana.

http://www.tehana.co.nz/

Related image

Sorry I lost my photos at this point so I took it from the web. HAHA. But well you get the gist. It’s really worth a visit!!!

maori tv week GIF by Māori Television

Help to keep the Maori spirit alive by supporting their tours 🙂

They aren’t funded by the government 😦

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Was supposed to visit the WAIWERA SPA AND RESORTS but when I went there its fucking closed for renovations despite the website saying its still open for business IDK wtf lol

But It wasn’t a wasted trip. It’s right beside the beach, at the road called “The Strand”
The sun was setting, sky was dyed pink and it put my heart at such great ease with such ineffable beauty.

Had to take the pics from my instagram 😦

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DAY 6 GOAT ISLAND

Lost all the photos completely for this one. Went to the Goat Island Marine Reserve

https://www.newzealand.com/sg/feature/cape-rodney-okakari-point-marine-reserve-goat-island-marine-reserve/

Paid a nominal fee to enter the mini exhibition where they show you how they conserve and protect the wild sealife. Had a mini touch pool which was quite fun. Played with a super cute sea slug.

Click on the link below if you are going during the summer. I think it would be fun.. They have snorkeling, diving, glass bottom paddle boats (60 NZD for 2 pax, 30mins)

https://www.goatislanddive.co.nz/

Image result for goat island marine reserve

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Did the BBQ with the owner at night. He grilled prawns and lamb chops, corn and potatoes for us. It was lovely.

Was eating happily until he said the lamb chops are part of the sheep he raised.

he raised.
part of the sheep he raised.

sad will ferrell GIF

sad andre johnson GIF

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DAY 7 RAINBOW’S END

Had to say bye to the farm stay and the poor sheep. Headed back into city to visit their theme park, RAINBOW’s END.

https://rainbowsend.co.nz/

Admission is about 59 NZD per person.

Image result for rainbow's end

(Not my photo)

It was quite fun to be honest. And the best part obviously is there is no queue. DUH. Winter.

But it was also the end of my life because my phone. You know. And that’s why all my photos are gone. I am sorry for not being able to show you guys all the rest of the awesome photos lol.

It’s impossibly hard to enjoy anything when you know you have to spit out 1000 dollars when you get back to SG to fix your broken ass phone.

But I still enjoyed the theme park.

Went to the casino at night.

https://www.skycityauckland.co.nz/

THE PARKING THERE IS CRAZY. TAKE THE TRAIN IF YOU CAN.

Its 16 dollars PER HOUR.

Won like, 150 bucks in the casino. LMAO. Cheap thrills. Baccarat goddess right here, bitches.

model whatever GIF

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Had dinner at Andy’s burgers & Bar.

It’s not TOOOOOOO expensive and it’s really good.

https://www.skycityauckland.co.nz/restaurants/andys-burgers-bar/

Image result for andy's burgers and bar

Image result for andy's burgers and bar

You have to try their spicy wings. It’s really good. And if you plan to head to the casino, Go to the casino’s premium member counter or some shit first. Because if you sign up (It’s free) you can even get discounted stuff for the restaurants there, as well as free parking WHICH IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.

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DAY 8 SEALIFE KELLY TARLTON

This is probably the favorite day of the entire itinerary. Went to the Sealife place to see fishes, and then had the best dinner of the entire trip at Crab shack.

Image result for sea life kelly tarlton's

https://www.kellytarltons.co.nz/

Its 42 NZD per person if you take the behind the scene tour + ticket. I suggest taking the tour, its really worth it. You get to feed the fishes from on top of the large aquarium, instead of viewing the fishes from the tube as per normal.

Image result for sea life kelly tarlton's

The penguins are uber cute… I stared at them waddling for like 5 million years. There are lots of them. Its freaking amazing.

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They do have shark diving as well, I decided not to do it cuz its really out of my budget already. Besides, I rather save up and do a proper one in the open ocean in Australia.

Image result for sea life kelly tarlton's

I highly recommend visiting this Sealife.
Help to support the cause, and really, who can resist the penguins?

Dinner:

I really really enjoyed this Crab dinner. It was my favorite meal since I was getting so sick of burgers, and fish fish fish fish fish. MARKET FISH, PANFRIED, FISH AND CHIPS, my god. Snapper snapper snapper. snap your mother.

Image result for crab shack princes wharf

https://www.crabshack.co.nz/locations/auckland/

THE CRAB SHACK

It was a Tuesday. From 3pm – 6pm, you get to enjoy

1KG OF MUSSELS at ONLY 10 NZD.

Its FREAKING GOOD.

Sorry, can’t find the mussels photos anywhere. But I had crab cakes, mussels, 1 crab, and a glass of white at only 8 NZD per glass.

I really recommend it. The staff is friendly too.

Image result for crab shack princes wharf

– –

I ended the last night of the trip with a bang by visiting a stripclub.

It was fucking fantastic guys. It’s called The Penthouse if you are interested. 😉 Not too expensive don’t worry.

Girls are pretty hot too and they strip down to bare. WAAAAAAAA.

Sexy Scrubs GIF

 

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I’d definitely visit NZ again next time, but in the Summer. And I want to go for the crab shack again. HEHE.

Thanks for reading this guys. And I hope this will be handy for anyone who wants to plan their itinerary.

By the way, car rental is really cheap and its also right hand driving. Its 107 SGD for 6 days which I find completely reasonable.
Stay tuned for a short prose coming up soon 🙂

 

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Lucid.

by

I dreamed of him again.

I hate it when it happens. I wake up heart pounding, tears in my eyes and; the feeling of reality dawning upon you is like falling down an abyss. You hit the cold hard ground, except that you don’t die. You just start to continue living.

We were still together in this dream. As like most of the many other times I dreamed of him.

He was still so beautiful in my dream. I could touch him, feel his warmth and hear his voice. His quiet, soft spoken voice. Asking me questions that he always did, holding me like he always did.

But I guess people always say dreams carry some sort of truth that you fear facing in reality. It probably materialize in this dream plane. He’s still arguing with me in my dream. Trying to accuse me of hanging out with another guy, wanting to break up, over and over again.

And as usual, I was begging him, even in this make believe world. Begging him to stay, telling him I’d do anything and give up anything just so he would stop. STOP.

Stop constantly saying things to remind me that I am so easy to replace. Stop reminding me that I love you very much to the point I can allow you to trample all over my pride and the heart I acquiescently presented to you.

I was angry, yet at the same time, the yearning of wanting to go back to him, needing to hold him, is so, so strong. That was how I felt, every single second of my days spent with him. And apparently its no different in my dreams of him.

And then I woke up. My heart started to sting upon realizing it’s all fake and that I’ll never actually get to see him or hear his voice again. For a split moment, through a crack in my pride, I wished we still were. Even if it meant I had to beg.

There’s a saying – kinks not ironed out during a breakup, form a dead knot in your heart. When it is all over, the dead knot anchors to the bottom of your heart, ever tugging, ever cruelly reminding.

He is the first man who left this knot within me.

And I don’t think I’ll ever get over.

Too old to leap

by

My beautiful readers,

The abandonment of poetry in my head was rather hard to accept for the past few days. Through all the turmoil, I decided that the best way to let the river of happiness, of undaunted inspiration course through the meander once more, is to remove the obnoxious, destructive dam that the evil inklings of my deteriorated health, of bad people in my career have built.

I am resigning.

It has been a “dream job”. Not my dream. My grandfather’s dream. To see me don that beautiful kebaya and serve passengers high up in the air. Yes, for those of you who do not know, I am employed in Singapore Airlines. I kept it under wraps (or at least tried to) because I do not enjoy letting my work life / colleagues / personnels interfere with my own personal life.

Because I, in fact, love my personal life, this awesome profile that I have built and I will never let my career get in the way. If not better, my career should boost it, applaud it and celebrate it.

I have drafted a resignation letter, but I’m afraid its still in my draft box. I gradually realized the courage of swift and firm decisions that used to surge me in my younger days is no longer there.

Thoughts of adult problems crept into my mind, poisoning my heart, telling it that passion is going to cost me a fortune. Telling me that Happiness is secondary.

Can I say I am too old to just take a leap, and worry about the consequences later?

Man up Valeisky! Take the leap.

No ragrets.

 

Once this has been settled, I am bringing to you guys a nice little 3 series short proses along with 3 photos, 1 per prose. I am really excited about it. And I hope words won’t abandon me by then.

Love you guys. Thank you for supporting me so much.

Obsession.

by

If I could manipulate elements, time & space, matter, even;

I want not to save the world, but to put you in a little glass dome.

You can have it filled with crystalline snow that billows, dancing to the cold, singing with the howling wind. Fear not my love. Think not of it as fearsome as The Shining. I’ll make you feel warmth where the prick from ice would be. Fashion you a castle made of only the sturdiest from the frozen kingdom. Wolves will litter at your feet, for you to play or to kill. Crystal maidens will wait on you, presenting nothing but egregious robes and hot food. The nation will celebrate your beauty and my unyielding love for you, bitter like frost, undaunted.

Or even, laze eternally by the beach whose horizon can’t be fathomed. Endless waves, always sunny. I’ll conjure seashells of the finest, most exotic patterns, but none as amazing as you. I’ll make the mermaids sing of my love for you, in their hauntingly sweet melody. The crabs and lobsters, all sumptuous crustaceans line up to queue for their noble deaths upon a merry flame, served smoking hot on your golden plate. So that you, my queen, can have the freshest harvest still piquant of the roaring salty waves.

If you want it mythical, there’s nothing my imagination will stop at just for a smile across your porcelain face. Unicorns will prance for you, glistening in the sunlight with their majestic manes, sparkling like how they should be. The forest green and lush, sings a secret rhyme, wildflowers will wave at you with glee. Your footsteps will sprout endless cycles of spring – Of magnolias, roses, tall looming trees even. You will be the giver of life. Just like how you are, like my syncopated breath. I’d throw in a Snow White fantasy if you’d even just whisper for it. Rabbits, deer and the great grizzly bear; they will keep you company in happy banter. You will never be alone.

How about a New York city dream, the poshest penthouse in Manhattan. All that glitters awaits in a walk in wardrobe. Ceiling to floor windows that grant intoxicating view of the skyline, guarded by sweeping curtains of the finest silk and linen. Do you indulge in books? For I can bring stories of the entire universe to you. Everyday you can find yourself catapulting to a different time and place, all within the papyrus skimmed through your fingertips.  I can give you the entire city, if apple is your favorite fruit. A fancy car to tour the city, Maserati, Lamborghini or would you prefer a Ferrari?  I hope you like Need for speed.

The list would go on. But I’ll save that for later. Because its 5.58 and in 2 minutes you will walk in to the diner and pour me the coffee that I am waiting for… And I, will clutch the cup firmly, hoping for a brisk touch of your slender fingers.

Bound to you.

by

black garters 3

The night slip fell right off her, cascading like a silken waterfall. Her nipples stood rigid in the teasing breeze that sneaked in from the windows. The sheer curtains billowed like a gracious, heavenly hype.

It was 2 in the afternoon and she has led him to the hotel room that she was put up for the night. Meanwhile, the boring conference in the convention hall ensued.

“Would you like to have me one more time?” She walked towards him. His fingers were gripping the glass cup apprehensively. She pushed his frozen arms down gently, and made him put down the drink.

With a fleeting notion that was so well practiced, she rested her bare bum on the arm rest, and wrapped her hands around his neck like a mystic serpent. Her breasts encased his face softly in her tight embrace, begging to be caressed.

He wanted to remain antagonistic, but his lewd mind was spiraling out of control. His lips searched like a frantic man lost in the desert, and found its way to her nipple. With every flick of his tongue, she let out subtle cries, almost melodious. The atmosphere turned euphoric.

It was a frenzy.

He held onto her waist pulling her down onto his lap. as they synchronously rocked to the beats of lust, the overwhelming eroticism made her so wet, his pants were drenched right where his throbbing shaft was. With his free hand, he helped himself greedily to her flailing breast, groping, mashing and working in harmony with his tongue.

She then reached for his belt and zipper clumsily. He aided in that effort by tilting himself. The pants littered the floor in no time. He was half naked, and fully ready.

She gyrated her hips, feeling the length of him, warm and throbbing inside her. It was like ecstasy. Her muscles squeezed tight like a blushing clam, projecting him into delirium. Her juices flowed like a trickling stream, supplying to the chorus of sensual symphony.

With one sweep, He threw her onto the couch. He was so unlike himself. Her legs parted like a flower in spring, her nether lips in full bloom. Waiting for him. Hungry for him. He penetrated her furiously, one hand on her neck. He enjoyed the near asphyxiation that he granted her. Her face turned a petal pink, as she gasped so impertinently. Lips parted like she was ready to give a fellatio. The sight fueled his aggression as he pounded her like street choreography. Calculated, passionate and in bold strides.

He wasn’t done with her. He turned her over, Ass cheeks facing him. It was a gloriously brazen sight. He fed her swollen pussy with his manhood, making a callous entrance. His fingers then gathered her hair. He yanked as he pumped hard against her body. Her head tilted backwards from the brute force of his hair pull. Her moans were blocked, coming out in short hysterical notes.

!!!! He raised his hand, with dead accuracy, his palm landed on her butt. The spank was so loud it echoed across the spacious room. She screamed, body contracting from the shocking pain. She tightened even further.

A satisfied groan slipped through his lips. He couldn’t stop spanking her until her butt turned as red as her labia.

He was ready to come. He pushed her onto the coffee table. the fruit platter fell onto the carpet soundlessly, and still in perfect display. He knelt down carelessly, to nibble on her distended clitoris. His tongue lashed mercilessly against her wet crevice. He sucked hard, as if feasting upon her nectar. He inserted a finger, searching for the sweet spot.

He located it with sheer memory, plunging in and out relentlessly. Her eyes were unable to maintain sight. She gripped his head tightly, begging for him not to stop. The pleasure surmounted all her senses as all physical strength abandoned her. It was like a shockwave.

Her juices squirted, spewing in all directions. The liquid dribbled down his arm.

“Don’t stop!” She begged. Her grip deadlocked, the pleasure built up and then unfurled. It was an eruption. Her lower torso contorted to accommodate the violent bursts of fluid. The carpet was thoroughly doused.

He reveled at this audacious feast before his eyes. His shaft was so eager, the veins pulsed and dilated. He mounted her, giving her no time to recover. Both hands seized her pendulous breasts. Her arms thrashed wildly. The susceptibility drove her wild. He hammered her hard. The coffee table was sturdy, but it too was creaking just a bit.

“I’ll come now?” He asked. Manners apparently was so ingrained in him it did not forsake even the beast.

She nodded, eyes out of focus. She was panting heavily. In hard, angry strokes, he pushed, the sounds so loud it drowned her screams. He then came, like tidal waves. Spilling everything into her.

And then, too polite to flop motionlessly on top of her, he decided to get up. She cued in agreement as she then gently pushed him off before getting up and walking to the bathroom in a single, albeit slightly shaky, graceful gait.

He walked up to her “Don’t wash up. I want you to go like that. With my cum inside you.”
She did not raise an eyebrow but did as instructed. Her panty was soiled. His seeds were trickling out.

It was her turn to present at the conference.

“You still take the pill right?” He asked. It was a question he asked every day they fucked, from when they were dating, till they were married, and then…

She handed him the divorce papers. “There you go. It’s all done.”

“Yes. My boyfriend do not like children. Just like you.” She said as a matter of fact.

He tried to maintain a stoic expression, but wavered.

She on the contrary, was calm as a lake in the late of night. She picked her bag up and headed to the door.

“See you Wilson. You can shower before you go. Say hi to Rebecca for me. Thanks for the awesome fuck by the way. ”

She turned and never looked back. Just like the very first time she walked in to him banging her (ex) best friend.

The door closed shut. Just like the reality before him in form of papyrus. This binding…. will now slowly fade away, leaving nothing but regret and a stained panty.