Tag Archives: poem

Faeries, stardust, eternities.

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Welcome to 2019 everyone 😀

Made fresh new resolutions, it’s 3 weeks in, I am doing good (With the working out part) except that I loop holed myself – I didn’t state workout for how long so I am kinda doing 10mins each time and not feeling the slightest of guilt that I just upped myself in my own game.

Sharing some snaps of my Xmas gifts.

All of my gifts below. Would say most of the list was fulfilled and im soooo happy 😀 😀 😀 I am a lucky girl.

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Finally managed to get my long emptied sk II…. -_-

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The most beautiful packaging HAHAHA Yes I couldn’t stand not snapping an individual pic of this. I always loved their packaging. Every girl’s dream 🙂 Thanks to R

 

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The logo is silver-toned, else would have matched my Jet-setter set to the T. Love it anyways. XD

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It’s raining here. I have the urge to write my thoughts out.

I could feel some major shifts happening in my life.  Not a moment passes where I do not think and fear the unknown, but I know that time is like an immortal heart that beats – I have to prepare and brace for whatever that comes.

Here’s a poem that pretty much divulges one of the biggest hurdles in my life right now; I wish the melancholic souls out there who chance upon this, can feel some familiarity and hopefully find momentary solace in a common angst. 

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Image result for melancholy

Credits

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An owl dips, into the blackest skies,
soft in flight, quiet he flies
alone was I, cold hands shaking
loud crisp tones, of my heart be breaking.

My scraped knees are weak, soon I’d falter,
her out-worldly heart, soon shall wander.
Hands bleeding, flailing, I tried to grasp,
her shadow, like a dying ember, turned to dust.

Of grim, of gloom, a hell bent desire,
Woven with deceit, so pleased Belial.
Had it been so, satire of lust,
Of grief, of doom, a martyr of trust.

I watch her leave. 

Laced with sweet magnolias, and deadly nightshade,
pertinent to love, an asphyxiated heartbreak.
My worship to her, in all false opulence,
was masking damp cheeks, and where she sought forgiveness.

She turns to leave.

The wind sang her goodbyes, saying :

Time, to which we’re enslaved, in its cruel movements,
grants no concession but a binding warrant;
Oh love, my heart it yearns, for an eternity with you,
yet our destiny, are two hearts that will never heal.

 

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Yes I know, I am turning 28 soon. And CNY is coming. I am not ready and not going to be pleased to answer all the “When are you getting married” questions by my relatives. Birthday’s coming…. I haven’t thought of a wishlist but to prevent *cue laughter* color pencils from happening again, I guess I have to come up with the list soon.

 

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Guess what I found

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Was tidying my room. Chanced upon one of the earlier journals I kept. I keep one every year. Some survived through my mum’s gigantic purge of “unnecessary household items” but not all are so lucky.

 

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Seems my teenage adolescent pain was pretty unbearable and I think I can pretty much still remember how it felt.

Nonetheless the sorrow did not go wasted I guess I managed to channel it through the literature aspect. lolol

Here’s one of my favorites:

 

I am an angel, i wield a halo, a facade
My words they are magic, an immaculate art
I am a goddess, I define beauty
My movements are sex – erotic and pretty.

I am a temptress, a lubricious desire,
My touch unleashes, your lewd denial
I am the world, passion is my pawn
My eyes are like a weapon, a deceptive con.

I am an abstract, I delude conscience,
My heart abuses truth, and words so vicious.
I am an extreme, between love and hatred,
Females antagonists, whilst males are patriots.

I am a treachery, a betrayal of love,
philandering in blood, a motto I serve
I am, mere mortal, yet not
Delude the truth, if truth be sought.

 

Don’t we all miss that all so familiar childhood bullying. Not sure what led me to write this though. HAHA.

Anyway I managed to revamp my room! Will come up with a post once the curtain is done. Have a good week ahead.

daily grind

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I dont know what I miss about you.
Was it the way you touched me?
Or those paper lies that meant nothing, just looked so pretty.

What was it exactly?
That made me forgo sense and integrity

I wish I knew,
Yet I am glad I didn’t.
I guess it’s better to leave it as a tragic love story.

 

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I managed to enjoy decent cha soba at JB the other day. Pleasantly surprised. I am such a huge fan of this cold green noodles, you have no idea. Almost  qualified to add it into my resume. Do i get a pay raise for that or what?

Skillset:

– Able to churn up a sizable amount of bullshit to write in almost any situation.
– Taking a nap but still capable of brooding about what’s for lunch and waking up with an answer.
– Knows CPR and can recite the entire length of Safety procedures if you are seated at row 14 and 15 of the Airbus A320.
– Have a sensitive tongue like Da Chang Jin (the korean tv smash hit), able to tell if any ingredient in the food has gone foul or if you have syphilis.
– *New* A Cha soba connoisseur, can tell you how to differentiate good from bad.

ALWAYS FIND CHA SOBA with a quail egg! I mean how can you even resist it. So delicious. Makes your entire slurping experience smooth and lubricated. We all know how important it is to LUBE UP , DONT WE? 😉

 

Pepper lunch – Omelette with double hamburg steak + extra cheese

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GOD, if you guys have not eaten this. Please go and do it right now. Go to a pepper lunch outlet and tell them you want this shit, ADD CHEESE (90cents) and eat the fuck out of it. No regrets, 1001% guaranteed by your goddess.

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By the way, fucking wordpress changed their interface again. Not very sure what really improved because it sucked way too much all the time.

My little furry slut has been granted the privilege of keeping his not-so-fantastic fur coat because its “Singapore-winter” soon. Dang he smells so good I thought my noodles were Dog flavored when he stood next to the fan.

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Your goddess has been sickly but nonetheless still full of shit, wanting to take a big fat dump and slam it on someone’s face. But I dont want to be squatting in jail next to CHC golden girl.

I mean, I don’t really have much lessons learnt about Jesus from the bunch except that if you marry a pastor you qualify to look at Lamborghini catalogs.

No further comments to generate animosity among worshipers with heads cast in white….

Moving on, can I just say as much as I love having a boring deskbound job, I hate it as well. I am in a constant tug of war between wanting to run to my office’s glass windows like in a 007 movie and plunge to my death (which may be a pleasant relief) and making out with my wallet at the thought of pay day.

My life is a constant paradox.

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I wish I dont have the problems that I am dealing with right now; Sometimes I hate them for barring me from leading a normal happy life that I should be but have been missing out on for a long time, but at the same time I thank them because they motivate me to not choose operation cease-life

And of course lastly, to all my beautiful clothes and shoes. Thanks for encouraging me to go to work in nothing short of fashionable.

Here’s a selfie of me at the deserted lift lobby outside my office ALONE. ALL ALONE, ALL DARK AND EMPTY ELSEWHERE because I stayed back to finish my work. Because I am a retard.

After I happily posed for the photo I looked up to see a huge ass security camera staring at me. GOD DAMN, NOW THE SECURITY GUARD KNOWS I WAS CAM WHORING AND THIS MAKES ME WANT TO SUICIDE TOO.

I walked away nonchalantly after establishing eye contact with the security camera. #SWAGGERYOLO_GAL

Speaking of work… My overwhelmingly friendly, marshmallow character has not quite been mellowed by the cruel societal work environment. Soon, I think…

How do I describe it to be? It’s like being acquainted with a stray cat. You somehow are on good terms with it, you won’t let him out in the cold alone without food, but you know you can’t call him your pet. Because he leaves as and when he likes and you need to deal with it. Because he doesn’t see you as a friend. Just an ally.

But guys, don’t go all catty on me pls. I will cry. I can’t endure anymore of that!

Thanks for reading my bullshit guys. I am thrilled right to the bones in euphoric bliss. Please take care, weather is bad.

 

 

Wat did I just write.

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Whilst you are riding on her sorry plight,
claimed recognition to your selfless rights,
She was on her knees graveling in the dirt,
fabric of her love worn till her heartbeats slurred,

Sordid exchange with those plastic damsels,
“For work” She smiled and dismissed those gestures,
Cradled the sleeping baby against her breasts,
Could she still long, for her body caressed?

Pack your things, my lovely child,
A lover like that is no worth your while.
Never now, in this age, will such love be scorned,
It needn’t be for two, that the baby be born.

We were all masochists, and victims of love,
but the child’s new life, is a reason for mirth.
Reach, and anchor your feet to the ground
Close that chapter, and the door to his house.

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On a side note, babies are so not my thing. But I wrote this hoping someone who’s facing this situation now can find the strength she seeks –

A woman should never live for a man. The man should live like he’d die for her. Some people stay in bad relationships because they are afraid. Let fear fuel you, but in such, you should be scared that you will never be happy if you stay. Don’t be scared you will end up all alone if you leave.

Because that is never going to happen. To all single mothers!!! (to be)
Don’t ever settle for less than what you are worth. Your child will thank you for it.

just another sad love story

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I had a dream last night. it was a happy dream. Isn’t it sad how happy dreams will make you wake up feeling sad, whilst you are glad as fuck when you wake up from an unhappy one? They say that dreams are depictions of things you want the most, locked away in the darkest depths of your subconscious. So true. So anyway randomly and nonsensically the dream led to many thoughts and then to terrorblade. So, I was trying to look for cartoons of terrorblade on google to find some inspiration to draw. and then i realized: tb search 1

they are cute as fuck. and then there is this:

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WHY IS TERRORBLADE so artistically and beautifully drawn. #emoheroeshatebeingcutiefied.

 

So anyway that aside I thought when terrorblade first came out in dota2 and I was so obsessed with him cuz he’s so handsome. Like, so dark and so strong and all~ ya’kno. So I was introduced to the movie that was beautifully made by warcraft 3 characters! its 64mins long, so if you haven’t watched it and you have the time, please do. It’s quite nice and surprisingly touching. 😥

 

The video has a sad ending 😦 I cried. I CRIED OVER PIXELS MOVING ON A SCREEN! YES!   Thus, I have decided tb and mirana need a better love story.

 

terrorblade, mirana, dota2

married life

Forgive my tb drawing… It’s the closest I can get with reference to the images that show up on google :’D   I wrote a poem few weeks back. I know it will never reach the eyes of the intended, but I guess I should just post it up anyway :’)

I still remember, the way to your house, the warmth of the sun through the windows, As you buried your head in my blouse< I traced the shape of your brows to your nose.

It’s getting easier to be harder now, to let us go, as you’ve gone on the train with a stoic goodbye, I was left by the tracks crying I love you so, You left nothing but a suitcase of memories behind.

As I unpacked to neaten, my life got messier; the façade was broken and crumbling from overdrive, As the bag got lighter, my heart sank heavier, I wanted to be dead, but pride kept me alive.

How do I struggle, and learn to erase, to forget our Saturday suppers and bad puns, to wipe my memories of your beautiful face –

How do you pen the exact pain of losing someone?

  Oh the scales of emotions on this post just tipped real quick now. ITS OK I AM ALIVE AND KICKING COME ON. ITS FINE!!! 😀 By the way in case anyone cares, I missed mambo jumbo at Zouk again. Bloody people everywhere.