Osaka nambaaaa 1?

Good morning everyone! It took me a year to make a new post. And currently with my random peaking visits on my site, I am starting to feel all my viewers are bots. Which can actually be a great thing.

For the rest of my human friends, here I am again. I am very determined this year – To complete all of my new year resolutions. Procrastination, as mentioned once by a famous person; is like masturbation. It feels good at first, but in the end, you realize you are just fucking with yourself.

I completed a few most important goals last year and the feeling was fantastic. It gave me a frenzied spur of motivation. I want to relive that sense of achievement all over again!

One of my goals this year includes: Buying my long-longed for blue tongue skink. REALLY!!?!?!? YES!!!!!!

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That aside, I have a new year resolution which has never been achieved before. And that’s:



Here I am asking myself like “HELLO? WILL IT KILL YOU TO MASH SOME RANDOM BUTTONS ON YOUR KEYBOARD FOR TWICE A MONTH” Because yes the irony is I trashtalk people by furiously spamming a slew of uncouth words every day (MLBB can get real toxic) but I frown and belch upon looking at the plain white wordpress screen every time i open my browser.

I am left with 2 more days to cough out my second blog post for this month AND I WILL DO IT.

Ok, enough of this. I cannot overpromise because I made a pact with the satan inside me and the loser will face disastrous calamities.

I am here to blog about my recent trip, its an Osaka trip and I have previously done a “Sordidly honest reivew” about Japan here:

Today, I am just here to share with you guys what I have rediscovered about Osaka. I hope it will be useful for some of you out there, who aren’t bots.


We shall first start by a popular name: ICHIRAN RAMEN

All the kiasu Singaporeans and Malaysians will be gushing about it saying “OMG YES THIS IS THE WORLD’S MOST DELICIOUS RAMEN” and proceed to queue about 1.5hours in the cold Japan air for it.



Ichiran lives up to its touristy hype as this ramen is very structured in its noodles, springy and distinctive in its texture. The soup base is flavorful and it’s really suited to our locals’ taste buds. But I love drinking soup, so because of how rich and oily the soup is, I cannot drink too much of it. D:

I am here to tell you a little fun fact about Ichiran. For all of you people who keep showing off your photos boasting about how rich you are to have traveled far and wide to Japan and queued to eat this bowl of piping hot stuff and that its the BEST noodles ever in hopes your 430 instagram followers will be envious, I hate to break it to you, but Ichiran is considered peasant food.

That’s right~ Japanese, just like Koreans, still have this super clear High SES Low SES shit going on where the job position you hold determines whether you eating Wagyu teppanyaki or Ichiran for dinner.

Sounds funny? But no it isn’t. I only found out about this back when I was in SQ doing a flight to Tokyo and my Singaporean colleagues were raving about Ichiran and asking all of us to go. (I had ichiran back when I was flying for Jetstar but I never knew it was famous. Maybe that was before the Touristy hype)

They asked the Japanese stewardesses if they would like to join and the senior, tactful and polite being how Japanese are, said “No, please go ahead. We will be unable to join you.”

“Aww why????” My overly enthusiastic junior replied. And then, being how curt and cruel Japanese can also be, the senior replied “Because in Japan, that is food for the working class. And because we are air stewardesses, we are not allowed to eat at Ichiran. We eat elsewhere. Its ok, please queue together with the other tourists. I am sure it is delicious. ” She ended it with a short dry laugh and I loved every moment of it.

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If you are going to OSAKA, check out the Ichiran at Dotonburi. In fact, there are alot of good stuff at Dotonburi. Its the one-stop district for tourists. Enjoy the takoyaki balls while you are waiting for your turn at Ichiran. It should only take about 1-1.5 hours to be seated; that isn’t a problem for Singaporeans, is it? HAHA.


80 year old man’s balls:

Since we are on this topic, OSAKA is known for their takoyaki and okonomiyaki – You will find many takoyaki stalls everywhere in Dotonburi. I tried a few stalls. This one I featured below, has been pretty talked about online. Kukuru 




I tried the stall right next to Ichiran ramen at Dotonburi as well. That shop had a catchy song playing for you while you wait but I can’t fucking remember because well, both of these stalls have really wrinkly and saggy balls that didn’t quite go down agreeably with my palate.

I loooooove tako balls and thus you could imagine my lust for em balls when I heard Osaka is famous for em piping starchy rounds. However, I think that the takoyaki balls aren’t really made well. The balls should be crisp and firm on the outside but soft on the inside. I am not sure is it because they are rushing to cater to the crowd (unlikely for Japanese since they take pride in their stuff) so they did not wait for the outside to become firmer before serving – As you can see in the photo above, the ball broke apart just as I tried to hold it up.

They were literally like old people’s ballsacks where it sagged too much and were unable to keep shape. However, I really loved Kukuru’s octopus bits. They were fresh and cooked to perfection.

Hence, I believe perhaps Japanese love to eat their tako balls with the texture of an 80 year old man’s ballsacks. Our preference just differs. But all’s good. Yum.





Another thing to try in OSAKA which can also be found in Dotonburi, is this Fugu, Pufferfish. I did not try it, not because I am afraid of dying (You need a license to prepare em) But because it pained me to see the cute little spikey boys in the small little tanks awaiting their fate 😦


Two places worth a visit:




No photos needed for you I guess. It’s a must-visit for everyone. May I just advise, you will definitely need the express pass. You can buy it from Klook just like everyone. If you don’t buy it, don’t bother going because I queued 1.8 hours for the stupid minions children ride, and this was OFF-PEAK SEASON.

The scariest rides: Hollywood dream, (They have the GOSTAN version) and Flying dinosaur. Don’t worry. Just scream until your lungs collapse. You will make it out alive.

And may I also advise, please read your Klook terms and conditions properly because the express pass has FIXED timings that you must adhere to in order to use the “Cut queue service”.


Sakuya Lumina Night Walk at Osaka Castle 


I am not usually one for walks in the winter cold, nor one who likes to be close to grass. (Not sure if my human readers know but I have an irrational fear of grass) However, I bought this entrance ticket on Klook and I was pleasantly surprised.

I know it kinda sound like I am advertising Klook, but ya’ll know, I really had no idea what to do in OSAKA since it was like my 5th time there. Thus I found this walk which is similar to the Rainforest Lumina we have in Singapore. I didn’t go for the SG one because I heard it was hot, stuffy and crowded af.

The one in OSAKA is so fucking amazing. The photos and videos don’t do justice. I swear its beautiful and trippy and calming at the same time. Fucking oxymoron.

So basically you are on a trip (in JAPANESE) to help a girl from da future get home to her mama or Ahma, whichever.



You can scan the QR to play some game.




I am not very sure if your kids will love it because some children seemed pretty restless but I enjoyed every minute of it. The music makes you feel as if you have transcended to heaven or some shit.


So basically after you have “Helped” the girl on her quest, there’s a special treat for you. WELL, YOU PROBABLY HAD NO IDEA THAT YOU HELPED HER CUZ U DON’T UNDERSTAND SHIT THAT THEY ARE SAYING (But there’s English translation)

Not that it really matters because fuck yeah the lights are so gorgeous.

So you will end at OSAKA castle, but not inside la. Just the wall outside. 😀


So theres this projection on the wall…. if you walk closer to examine they are flowers with your faces on em.







I hate to sound like a dick, but I was very disappointed in the state of OSAKA’s aquarium. I do understand it could be due to wear and tear, but it shouldn’t be an excuse. I love the marine life and I love visiting aquariums.

I felt that Singapore’s SEA aquarium did a whopping great job. It was beautiful, user friendly, fishy friends there were well looked after and the admission price is reasonable.

It was on my Must visit list the last time I went to Osaka, but our itinerary was too packed. Unwilling to pass on the chance this time round, I found an offer on klook which gave free tickets to the aquarium with purchase of the USJ entrance tickets. Very worth it!!!




I hate that all the interiors of the fish tanks were bare. Like there was hardly any seaweed, coral, man-made decoration, or even things like sand, pebbles etc. The worst thing was. THERE WAS NO BACKGROUND PAPER. I mean, Nemo could look at the bleak, blue background and never find Dory again. BUT WHY? Why so low effort. The tanks all look like a literal swimming pool. The ground was… ground. like our human floors.

The fishes probably couldn’t care less about the background but why don’t they have some seaweed or corals? To feel more at home?


If you have a packed schedule, I suggest to give this place a miss. It’s definitely not worth dedicating half a day of your precious holiday to it.



NARA PARK (again -__- )


If you think you love smelly, rude and slightly violent deers, then yay, Nara park is the place for you. Calling for all animal lovers, its a must visit. Easy to navigate from Osaka or kyoto.

Note: Do not go to Nara Park too late.

It was my second time visiting Nara Park and hence I was lazy. Reached there around 3pm.

THE DEERS WERE FUCKING FULL. You literally had to beg them to take your biscuit because they were so stuffed by the visitors who went earlier.



TIP: If you want a beautiful selfie with the deer calm and facing the screen, ALWAYS APPROACH A RESTING DEER.

I see people trying to take photos with deers on the roads/on the prowl. They may butt you if you go too close cuz they are hungry and can’t be bothered to wait around and take a pic.

Do not disturb it too much or provoke it. Simply bend down, inch closer to let it know your presence. If it wants a biscuit, give it. If you offer and it turns away, it’s full. You may then go closer, pat it if you want.

I rubbed the one in the photo above. It was grumpy at first because it didn’t want anymore food but people keep trying to make it eat. I rubbed between its ears and it was happy (it was squinting eyes like that in the pic to show approval) Then I snapped as many pics as I wanted.

NOTE: Please take care of your kids. THE DEERS CAN REALLY BUTT YOU even if they have no horns, THEY WILL BITE your shirts etc.





I found this class on Airkitchen.

You may choose your destination and they will show you who’s offering what class. Since I love eating soba noodles hence I chose it over the typical sushi/bento making. It costs about 55sgd per pax.




The trainer was real friendly and understanding. We were 10 minutes late but he waited patiently in the cold and told us not to rush. He has been making soba for 5 years. He was real skillful and polite.

After you cut the noodles, he will ask you to go upstairs to wait. 10mins later, your own (pretty ugly) soba noodles is served. Its delicious af.


You will then get a small gift and you get to take photos around his quaint little shop which is very traditional.


Overall, it was a great experience and at least now I can ATTEMPT to make edible soba noodles at home. However, I just wish we could watch him cook the noodles. I couldn’t comprehend why we had to wait upstairs when he was preparing em. LOL

I would recommend taking up a cooking class like this if you love cooking just like me. It’s a good skill and it doesn’t take up much time. The entire class only took about 2.5hours including eating.




If you have tattoos, don’t worry- Just make sure your homestay/hotel comes with a small tub. Most stays have em because Japanese people love their soaks.

SO DO I. Anyway, I stayed at this super small and cute lil apartment and their bath tub was literally a square. IT WAS A SQUARE meaning you sit cross legged. Sorry to those who are either toooooooo tall or slightly chubbier; It’s gonna be hard to fit HAHAHAHA.

And may I just remind you, DISNEYLAND TOKYO has this bath tub too. AND THE STAY THERE COSTS LIKE 260 SGD A NIGHT.




EXTRA observations about the train platforms which I never noticed:

As yall know, I am a road idiot and Japan is so fucking huge and their train maps look like wriggly snakes to me. I always found it super tiring to take their trains but you know, peasants like us need to take train because the taxis are just IMPOSSIBLY costly.

So anyway yes only this time do I realize, that because there are so many train routes, the platform you are on may have more than one train passing by. And since you know everything is in Japanese, it is pretty hard to understand anything.

I REALIZED there are triangles and circles on the board (pic below) and the train that comes by WILL HAVE THE TRIANGLE OR CIRCLE that corresponds. (This is useful because ITS ALSO ON YOUR TICKET)


And then THEY HAVE THE STICKERS on the ground directing you to placement in which the doors will open. As different trains have different lengths etc, they indicate the triangles and circles on the stickers


In other words, its to save you trouble and embarrassment hahahahaha. (Note pic below has both triangle and circle. Some stickers only have 1 of each.)


Total foolproof guide for a retard like me. I feel stupid like , OK SURE I know many of you realized that long ago BUT ITS A BREAKTHROUGH FOR ME, i don’t care what you wanna say. HAHA



Lastly, if you plan to use their automated laundromat:


I had alot of winter wear and was lazy to bring em home. It’ll cause my mother inconvenience cuz knowing her, she will never allow me to wash em myself for fear I fuck up the washing machine.

You can find laundromats anywhere near homestay apartments. I am here to let you know the approx. price. It’s about 800 yen (10.50 sgd) for 14kg load (Two people’s 5 days worth of winter clothes excluding light winter jackets) 

The drying really kills you. It’s 100yen (1.30 sgd) PER 10 MINUTES

I spun my stupid clothes for like 90 mins AND SOME PARTS WEREN’T COMPLETELY DRY BUT I WAS TOO POOR TO CARE 😀

So bo hua but laziness…. and convenience, brooo.





Something that will come in handy for your first Japan trip:

A easily reachable COIN POUCH. 

Because you will get alot of coins, and you also need ALOT of coins for all your train rides. Keep them within reach so you wouldn’t choke up the lines. People will grumble.

Also, no eating or drinking inside Family Mart itself. It’s not allowed (in OSAKA) and the store keeper will yell at you. Yes, speaking from experience.

I hope my post adds to the user friendliness of experiences never mentioned before in  travel blogs.

Good night everyone, and Happy Chinese new year. Keep your heads held up and your masks on tight. >: D

*humming* Sars is a virus… that we just want to minus……..





My honest Japan trip review



people talk about Japan and their vacations there, it’s always the same old cliche thing – “Oh, Japan is SO beautiful! The people are so polite and everything is so tasty!”

and they start showing you their Sakura blossoms photos on facebook. ^CUE Look at mine its so picturesque and I look like I am having fun.


I am not the Majority of these people.

And I am writing this post for whoever may join me as the minority and have not been to Japan yet. If you are someone who is getting old and tired, who jaywalks, hated your school rules, is an international foodie, is a road idiot who can’t walk from Bangkit to Panjang, like to go Bangkok to sleep till 12pm with no itinerary in mind, and most importantly, IF YOU hate people who smile and live their lives like a small leaf struggling to keep calm on the placid facade of societal laws set by their country, yet inside them are a boiling hot mess kept rampant by their jaded mindsets, 

READ THIS POST BEFORE YOU GO JAPAN! It’s a guide for us Minorities –

The background story: We did a 12 day trip from Tokyo to Kyoto, to Osaka, and then back to Tokyo to catch the flight back to Singapore.

We went on 2-13 APRIL. 
WEATHER: CHILLY BUT HOT. (Start of cherry blossoms)

I spent the least among my friends (AND IM A GIRL HELLOOO) – People be telling you they spent 5000 sgd like what the fuck. 

1700 SGD

That’s what I spent for the entire trip, excluding plane ticket and hotel, inclusive of PRESENTS for family and friends. 

so if you are looking to scrimp like me, continue reading.



Japan’s air is super dry – Like 100 year old virgin kind of dry. You will start developing cold sores and start peeling on your face. If you want to be money-wise, bring your water bottle because many train stations in Japan comes equipped with a water cooler.

Also, Japan has potable water everywhere. EVERY. WHERE.

I am not sure why my sister still insists on boiling her water cuz POTABLE. HELLO. MEANS DRINKABLE. I refilled my bottle at their toilets – LOOK! I am still alive. Really, once you have been to Russia and consumed their water there, anywhere with “Potable” water is godsend.



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As mentioned, the weather there is crazier than a Gemini. It’s cold – chilly, like a range of 2 – 17 degrees BUT THE SUN? MOTHERFUCKING BURN YOU LIKE A PRICK.

So, hot and cold. Boys be like “Used to it cuz mah girlfriend does it every day. ” YALL. If you are going to Disneyland/sea Tokyo, its near the sea and the scientist in me is reminding you guys that winds are stronger by the sea.

If you want to thoroughly enjoy yourselves at the kiddy place please wear a good windbreaker and cover up. Because the wind there is no joke. Back in Tokyo city, it’s fine. It ain’t that cold but you shiver when the wind blows.

Kyoto is slightly cooler, but the sun is all the same fucking radiance. You may bring an umbrella like China tourists, but my suggestion is:

YES TO STOCKINGS & Knee-length skirts (For females). 
LONG PANTS (For guys)
 SUNBLOCK. Lots of it. 
A Good jacket that is effective at wind-breaking but light enough to maintain airy when the sun is heating you up like a fried egg. 

It’s not just the sun that will make you heat up like a Tefal frying pan –

Remember, you are gonna travel alot by train. Japanese people like to be “warm and toasty” so their trains literally have no air ventilation nor any kind of wind. It’s super hot and stuffy. The kind that you won’t be able to breathe much if you are wearing Heat-tech or scarves.

So you need a super versatile outfit + Jacket that enables you to be both warm and toasty when wind blows, but not asphyxiating and perspiring when in their restaurants or trains.



Japan is one hour faster than Singapore’s time. For maths idiot, if now is 9 am in Singapore, its 10 am in Japan.

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I got this map from a website saying “EASY GUIDE TO TRAINS IN TOKYO”



THERE ARE MANY LINES AND TRAIN COMPANIES. I know Singapore only got MRT and LRT but ya. So good luck to you.

We wake up every day at around 8am and go to bed at 11pm. (That’s 7am in Sg BUT ONLY 10 PM IN SG – WHICH WEAKLING SLEEPS AT 10 PM?)

But my eyebags got darker and bigger as though its hatching a joey inside. So why?

You feel tired from travelling all day, and you don’t even know it until you are back in your super fucking tiny hotel soaking and crying for your poor legs in the teenie weenie bath tub. Because of your jam-packed itinerary, you travel on the train alot and you do get to sit on the trains.


Because walking from one Line to another? It literally kills you. Think walking from Raffles MRT station through city link to Suntec city mall – 10 times a day. This is excluding you walking to and fro your places of interest. And if you go visit theme parks, WHO THE FUCK SITS DOWN?

The train rides aren’t cheap. A day of travelling usually costs us between 8 – 12 SGD. I bet you are going to start appreciating Ez-links now. People say “Buy JR pass la” Got so many different companies, you buy the JR Pass – but… how often you using JR train? PLAN AND CALCULATE FIRST!

We bought the Osaka day pass which includes 2 full days of unlimited train rides and some free and some discounted attractions.

Image result for osaka day pass

Something like that. But we got ours from Changi Recommends.

But that was for the last two days and I’m telling you… C and I were all wrapped up in our rooms sleeping for the last two days, unable to utilize the pass because we were too drained and too tired.


4. AVOID 4.30 – 7.30 pm at subways

I hate people and I wished Thanos snapped his fingers (Even if I disappeared then fuck yeah insurance for my parents). The train stations at this timing…..

It’s not that you cannot handle the crowd, its they cannot handle you.

If you are like me and you feel the Singapore’s CBD area have a lot of cold unfeeling businessmen rushing around, trust me, Japan’s one is x1000 worse. The people absolutely hate tourists (But they know their economy atm cannot survive without tourism) but their “polite” nature forces them to just live with it.

So what do you get? They push and they “Tsk” you (YES THEY DO THAT) when you get in their way.



(If you stop, your whole group stops with you, causing a traffic jam)

(Tokyo, Osaka and Kyoto has different Keep left or Keep right if you not moving policy.)

Do not start a fight just because they scold you or they give u a fuck face. Trust me I was literally screaming inside. CUZ their fuck faces, really 10000x more fucked up than our 369 “U STARE SIMI” gang-fight starter face. 


5. Their food tastes the same after awhile.

People who travel a lot, especially cabin crew or jet-setting businessmen will tell you that out of all the airports they’ve been, Singapore’s one is unbeatable. And most importantly, that Malaysia and Singapore’s food is incomparable. (See, I do not say which of our nations’ is better. Don’t fight la)

Our nasi lemak, Hokkien mee, Chicken rice, hor fun, whatever fuck you want. Cai fan, meepok, want angmoh one also have, indian, malay, even turkish, japanese, Nyonya, Portuguese, Mexican

Really – I started craving for chicken rice on day 3.
COME ON. I miss Chicken rice every single fucking time I flew as a crew last time. We all have that one local dish you will miss like crazy – Time to find out yours!

So let’s see, what does Japan have. I can say it in one quick breath –

Udon, Curry rice, Sushi, Soba, BBQ beef, katsu don, ramen.

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Repeat x 100000. The food is fucking delicious no doubt. But I cannot imagine eating all these for 3 meals a day non-stop 12 days.

Anyway, since yall gonna be in city/touristy areas, the meals are about 6 – 20 dollars per meal.

How i spend so little? I eat udon w. wakame (seaweed) only. And that’s already 7$ at the train station.

Japanese cooking culture emphasizes a lot on UMAMI.

Image result for umami

This is the 5th taste alongside sweet, sour, bitter, salty. This is the essence from mainly cooked meats and broths.

You can taste a lot of this in their cooking, but a lot of Japanese food has a sweet after taste. And also, prepare lots of water, you will feel thirsty after eating.



Breakfast – Sausage muffin with egg. Their MACDONALDS is fucking fantastic. The muffins are soft as fuck like a woman’s bosom. The sausage?

REMEMBER IKEA MEATBALLS? Why Singapore’s one tastes better than Malaysia’s? (Sorry Malaysians but this one we win)

Because our meatballs (non-halal) ones contains pork. Malaysians Ikea do not have a choice. ALL HALAL. (Want to laugh but I’m not racist)

Japan’s sausage contains pork. It’s so fucking tasty you sure be letting yourself down if you don’t try it. I cannot tell you enough of how tasty pork is because soon vegans will come after me too.


7. NATTO? NA-TO (not to) my taste.



See the pink pink thing surrounding the yolk? That’s Natto. Its fermented beans of some sort (And yes La Pi Xiao Xin eats it)

We tried it and we almost died. Definitely, if you do not like fermented stuff and you die from the smell of Smelly tofu in Taiwan


It has a super strong after taste that lingers in your mouth longer than a shot full of semen from your boyfriend.

Sorry – this comparison is necessary albeit being gross because that’s how fucked up Natto is.

C’s face after eating Natto:


Real time capture.



This is not to mock them or anything. Most of them cannot speak good English. Like you’d probably find 1 out of 1000 that can speak fluently and 1 out of 100 that can point point gesture gesture with simple words and 1 out of 50 that can play charades with you.

All of their staff are trained to be very polite, but….

Please do not be in the queue (ESP 7-11) , then when your turn at the cashier, your friend wants to “tompang” and combines his items with yours. The staff for some reason will get a bug in their system and will be unable to function. They start to speak to you rudely and keep gesturing asking your friend to fuck off from the queue.

Image result for robot malfunction gif


Actually it isn’t that we want to do that on purpose but the stuff in 7-11 is so tasty and we want to lug alot home but our small hands are small af and there ain’t a basket so we group up to pay. ALSO CANNOT.

Their minds are not programmed to work out of the box. 1 person, 1 queue, 1 person’s items only.

I was with C at 7-11 when I was ready to pay. I did not have 100 yen coin, so I asked him to give me the coin. His hands were full so he put his items on the table looking for the coin.

The Staff at the cashier immediately malfunctioned and thought he was going to “tompang” payment with me. She immediately shouted at him and kept repeating “NO NO NO NO NO NO” and gave me back all my change in coins, ignoring the fact that I had told her “Wait please, 100 yen coin from my friend”.

I wanted to breakdown and throw the cash register on the floor. I get that some Chinese tourists or even Singaporean tourists may have bulked up a lot of bad rep. But it’s kind of unfair that your brains do not choose to develop some logic and simply stereotype us all together and give us shitty attitudes that not all of us deserve. 

When the Japanese is giving you an instruction, such as

“This is the green car. Please exit. “(Green Cars in trains are like VIP carriages for selected passengers with the green card only)”

Please do not shun bian ask them “Ok ok we will leave, by the way where is the toilet?”

The staff will not entertain your question. She will pretend she did not hear it and keeps gesturing and repeating “Please leave, please leave, please leave” until all of you fuck off from the Green Car.

After you have fucked off, then you can repeat your question again. Suddenly, the bug clears and her mind is un-jammed and the smile returns to her face. She can then answer your question politely.

Sometimes I wonder if they are robots.




Do you know why? Because Japanese people will scold you and judge you if your luggage just MOVES A SLIGHT OR MERE BIT.

We had to take a lot of trains as we transited between the hotels.
Thus you can rest assure this Number 9 rule? ACCURATE AS FUCK.

Personal experience: I was holding on to both of my luggage when my phone suddenly dropped on the floor. As a reflex action, I let go of my small cabin luggage to retrieve the phone.

The train jerked suddenly, and my luggage rolled SUPER GENTLY to a woman nearby, and kissed her thigh. I swear upon my grandfather’s grave and on Donald trump’s hair that it was SUPER SOFT AND DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING HURT.

Instead of doing what a normal person will do WHICH WAS TO HELP ME HOLD ONTO MY LUGGAGE, she glared at me. She didn’t move an inch to help. And then, she opened her mouth to scold me.


I apologized profusely and retrieved my bag. She scolded non-stop in Japanese.

Sorry, not exaggerating here. But NON-STOP. She was still scolding past all the stops and until she disembarked.





  5. BUT NO.


So yes, hold on to it. Even if you doze off. But then again, WHO THE FUCK WOULDN’T HOLD ON. Stop reminding us man. ( Trust me. A lot of  them will keep staring and the moment you lift your hand up to stretch or use phone, they will open their mouths)

In the end? I kiap mine with my strong legs. YEAH.







The shrines and what-nots are packed with so many people. You will see a lot of super pretty plates and bowls and  shits there (If you are old like me, you’d start appreciating furniture and crockery)

DO NOT BUY IT THERE. Trust me. FIGHT THE TEMPTATION. You can find the same shit at those value dollar tax-free shops or even in some random shops at the MRT stations at a way lower price. Especially the chopsticks and bowls dude.

You want to get a good shot where the “coast is clear” of people? Go super early. Or you wait. wait and wait and wait and test your patience. And CLICK! when the crowd dies down for awhile.




Yes we were very patient because there isn’t anything else to do there except for spending money and eating.




Please don’t behave like a typical kongkam tourist and go camp or shake those cherry blossom trees where there are throngs of people. In fact, when it’s in season, the cherry blossoms are everywhere. By the drains, in front of schools, near houses, near toilets. Whatever.

All you need is a keen eye and creativity (which many people do not have) and most importantly, unorthodox methods (Which Japanese people do not have and do not condone obv) But please do not damage the trees! Don’t behave like the disgusting tourist that the Japanese and the rest of the world thinks you are.

By the drain:


Casual walk by the street: 



(I remember there were too many tourists by some common spot and i was telling the rest why not walk down a few streets and TADAH! Whole fucking empty street to ourselves with an even nicer view – cherry blossoms by the small river.)

Outside our hotel, in front of the school










Chances are, you are definitely gonna take the Shinkansen which is the bullet train. It will cost you a kidney (Lesser than iphone but still) its about 140$ 

if you are suay like us and the dates clash and you can’t buy the shinkansen pass then buy individually, just cry.

But moving on. You’d be thinking “Omg I wanna be like a Japanese and eat bento” FUCK. NONE OF THE JAPANESE PPL I SAW ON BOARD THE BULLET TRAINS BOUGHT THAT. They all either tabao from elsewhere, or bought bread.

Guess why?


And, its around 12-15 dollars for your Princess Elsa ice embedded meal. Sure, it still tastes good. But I can hear my stomach crying out like “ITS SNOWING!”.

My suggestion? Tabao from 7-11! They heat up their meals for you and their fried chicken? Super fantastic. Alternatively, buy from Macdonalds or just be like a thrifty Japanese and eat bread.



Make sure the Japanese behind you is not eating before you slowly and politely put your seat back and try to catch up on your rest. Good night.


Can you see the fatigue on my face.




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they have the crispy fried chicken, and it’s a must eat. Choose the most expensive one – I forgot whats the name. But its a whole tender juicy thigh.



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Their hashbrown.

So good. Can fight with Macdonalds. I DONT CARE what you say but Macdonald’s hashbrown 5/5. This one is 4/5.




Sorry I can’t remember if this is from FM or 7-11. But you have to try it for sure. It’s not easy to get because always sold out. You have to make sure you try the right one. It’s in a tray. There are small ones which are individually wrapped slices but this tray one is the best. The cream is super fragrant and fluffy. The roll is soft and moist. I r8 8/8 gr8 m8.


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Clams, seaweed, tofu, beancurd shits, you name it. That’s how I save money too. I drank one for breakfast daily. About a dollar.






I think its pointless to go to Japan and not take up a class like that to appreciate their beautiful culture and historical delights. We found this enchanting shop along the crowded streets in Kyoto’s touristy attraction, and the lovely manager in her immaculate kimono and grace really encapsulated all of Japan’s rich heritage. It’s unbecoming not to give them a mention –


The Matcha appreciation class is at 24 SGD per person and its about 40 minutes in their quaint little tea room.

She speaks perfect English but shes super gentle and I felt like a bull in the china shop when fumbling around her.


Shop’s entrance. They only recently came up with “Matcha shaved ice” because they “discovered” that tourists love shaved ice. hahaha. So adorable.







She will explain to you all about the wonders of Matcha as well as how to properly prepare it. Being someone who isn’t a great fan of hipster stuff like Matcha waffles or Matcha cheesecake etc, I felt this was a truly enjoyable lesson as I really wanted to learn what was the proper and non hipster way of enjoying this green shit.



And she says its only right to give credit to the Matcha tea farmer, and he is one of the few left in Japan who uses only ORGANIC methods to grow his leaves.

Sunning and sheltering the leaves at the right timings will determine the Umami of the tea leaves. Whoa chim stuff.


Do visit them if you are free!





I really wanted the whisk for all reasons but of course please control your temptations to buy all things quaint and cutesy. Else how to spend within budget?

CHASANRAKU / +81 75 354 6533

You May email them at, the pretty manager is called Atsuko Suzuki. 

That summarizes my Japan trip. Harsh, crude, but nonetheless honest.
That being said, I look forward to visiting the other parts of Japan. but none the wiser.

My next post will be a short story. I guess, no one will disapprose?
sorry kill me for bad pun.



a lloyd of mosquitoes.

Hi guys your goddess Is almost near the end of her crazy work week. 😀

I will be doing the same event at Cineleisure on 1,2,3 of May, and Jcube on 8,9,10th. Please do pop by to have a photo taken with me if you happen to be free 🙂

I have been down with a terrible stomach flu so please forgive me, this post won’t be my usual long and naggy one. (is that like a good thing? are you hoping i will always have stomach flu in this case? HAHA)

IV bought me a lovely belated birthday present. He got it from Japan. Oh my… I am a very very lucky girl. You know what, who the fuck cares what people want to say behind my back? (Reminds me of A’s brother in the past.) In the end, I am the one smiling happily with my presents in hand. Hateful words mean nothing.. especially on the internet xD

Its my dream bag! I have been staring at it for ages. Its the Samantha Thavasa Lady Azayle in light pink. OH MY GOD WHY ITS SO BEU TI FOO

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It has a freaking hidden slot for idk what u wanna put into (Look at the picture above) at the base of the bag. Maybe a secret credit card or some condoms LOL :’D




IV threw in some Japanese goodies for me as well. So adorable. HAHAHA.

YES tell me that you are in love with that bag too. Miranda Kerr has one! But yeah well fuck having the same bag doesn’t make me any step closer to being as hot as her. Damn.


Anyway yes I forgot to add that Mr Lawyer brought me to this lovely restaurant in the middle of nowhere that sells excellent cantonese food. Doesn’t agree with my sick stomach but who the fuck cares. MINCED MEAT OK. Please don’t ask me why are his eyes always semi closed I DON’T KNOW. It’s his signature pose. 5.4 jiu shi bu yi yang. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA HES GOING TO KILL ME NOW.

I did a photoshoot at Lloyd’s Inn. Its at Killiney Road near Somerset 313. (It’s near LKY’s house)

Had some yoghurt before that and saw the little boy in front of me eating like… I don’t know if he was even trying to fit the spoon into his mouth. HAHAHA ITS SO ADORABLE OK SORRY I SNAPPED A SECRET PHOTO OF YOU. BUT I AM NOT A PEDO I JUST THINK ITS CUTE. DON’T REPORT ME TO THE POLICE. 

st7st8I can’t wait to receive the photos. The photographer and I had lots of fun. He was looking at the stethoscope and clipboard that I bought. And he said “No shit, nurse game so serious” HAHAHAHAHA.

We got the Patio room because the skyrooms were fully booked. It’s like those minimalist + earthy room design and it’s beautiful.

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I really loved the outdoor toilet that has a touch of Nature. Abit hot la, but still very serene and calming. But really, the mosquitoes.. abit last warning. Maybe cuz it rained that night.

There’s nothing better than the photographer saying “Okay… you are allowed to keep the room” and then you wave goodbye to him, strip, shower, don the comfy bath robe and roll around on the soft bed. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

My life is complete.

st14Okay la, Not as complete without free breakfast right!? Lloyd has no kitchen thus they gave a breakfast voucher that allows you to pick either free traditional Chinese kaya toast + eggs + hot drink or top up 7 to have a fancy Angmoh breakfast at Freshly Baked. Its a shop at Dublin road.
Of course I chose the latter la. Z had some odd looking muffin with scrambled eggs, Emmental cheese and smoked salmon. Dat cheese tho… Feels weird with the bunz and all. And coffee instead of wine. HAHAHA.

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I had the classic American breakfast, but I chose sausages instead of bacon. Like… you know, I love sausages. I MEAN PLS DON’T THINK OF IT IN THE SEXUAL WAY WHAT THE HELL LIKE I GENUINELY LIKE TO EAT SAUSAGES. LIKE, GERMANS, SPICY ITALIAN (I DON’T MEAN IT THAT WAY I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING”

Sometimes I think my peasants… You guys are really evil. I am such a pure soul. You guys tainted me.

I just want to say thanks to SW for buying such expensive Persimmons for me.. my favorite fruit. I don’t understand why the box so big, and only two tiny fruits inside.


Feel free to buy me more of them guys. I love it very much. DONT COME AND ASK ME “Wanna taste my fruit?” HAHAHAHAHA.

I’ll update again this week. ❤ Take care guys

the weather is hot.

Not as hot as me but ya’ll know its quite the contest.