Hello you awesome peasants.

My birthday is coming. Like, where the hell is my present? HAHAHA. So yes this is my extremely long taipei post. Please read through it if you are thinking of going taipei. I obviously took way more photos than this, but most of them are in my FB album.

We went for a total of 5 days.

Air tickets: 593$ Two way on CI (this is Taiwan’s legacy airline) (Book earlier if you want cheaper tickets.)
Lodging: 456$ 4 nights at Paradise Inn (this is right beside Xi Men Ding)
Cash: 1000$ Sgd (more than enough for me. had 1000 NT left after lending Ky and Zax money)

Remember, you don’t have to bring too much if you don’t wanna buy home any of those tai yang bing or whatever sai.

The thing about going TP when it’s still the winter season is that there is nothing for you to buy because everywhere sells Winterwear. Who the fuck buys a thick fleece coat to wear to Cineleisure for a movie right???

My trip was 8-12th January, and one of the coldest nights we experienced was about 10 degrees. It was extremely cold, especially when the wind blows. The trick is always keep your hands and feet warm. Get a coat with pockets so you can tuck your hands in.

DON’T TELL YOURSELF : Aiya my aircon already 18, whats 8 degrees lesser? Because you will cry.

I wore stockings with shorts and it was still alright because I had a scarf on.  I used the chemical hand warmers. Most of the time, walking is a bitch and all you wanna do is to have some hot soup.

Day 1

At terminal 1, our flight was at 9+ and it was a good time because (not too early as mr lawyer ain’t a morning person)
and its not too late when we reached TP. We still have time to do lots of stuff so the day isn’t wasted.

Brought maomao x2 along. Don’t ask me why its called x2 la. I have a smaller maomao do you remember???

Our plane.

I obviously got the window seat. I love sitting there so much. Grandpa used to always request for window seat for his most precious grand daughter 🙂

Yes sorry your goddess looks like shit here because she had no make up on other than bb cream.

Contrary to many people who hate aeroplane food, I love it so damn much. I always end up slurping up people’s leftovers. And yes, I guess that’s also one of the reasons why I enjoyed working as a crew. HAHAHAHA. Sorry, your goddess is a fucking greedy piece of trash. D:

Grandpa also used to request for another set for me hehehe.

This is curry dory with very fragrant steamed rice. I finished everything xD

Facade of the hotel. Look at how i was dressed. Lol it was chilly as fuck but bearable… since ya’ll know your goddess is insanely hot. HAHAHAHA

Our very first meal was a steaming hot bowl of beef noodles at a shop a stone’s throw away from hotel. Look at the prices. Very cheap! and the noodles really like free one sia. overflowing. I couldn’t finish. But the soup is refillable. Even noodles too. LOL.

It’s hand made! I swear I can drink that soup every day for the rest of my life. They have like these funny looking condiments on the table which looked as if it has been uncleaned for years… but you need to get over the neat-freak in you and just dump a little of everything into your noodles. TRUST ME. DO IT.

Their 7-11 is called “Seven” by the locals. And fuck there’s sanrio everywhere.I think all the hello kitty fans will go crazy. You can purchase this “Ez-link” card from the counter that allows you to take any of the subs. Their trains are really convenient so its a must.

They have the freaking priority seat too… I wonder if they have taiwan version of stomp..

I saw this beautiful cafe by the road as we were on our way to the JAY CHOU initial D cafe. Taipei is littered with all of such little cafes that open till late. It’s so romantic. I always wanted to open my own cafe too 😀

So yes we arrived at the JAY CHOU initial D cafe. I tell you…. a valuable advice. If you really die die want to go there to take a look anyway, GO THERE AFTER YOU HAD YOUR MEAL.

Yeah I know, so cute. Your goddesssssss obviously.

They have this Popping glass bottle drink omg holy. This is like my childhood favorite. For those of you who are like too fucking young or don’t have a childhood, THIS AWESOME BOTTLE HAS A MARBLE. Pop it in, and you can shake it up FOR THE ULTIMATE FIZZY DRINK EXPERIENCE. AND THEN

AFTER DRINKING, FEEL FREE TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS BY SHAKING THE EMPTY BOTTLE NON STOP.

Okay, I’m going to tell you why the fuck you don’t eat at the cafe.

This soup, is the best out of all that we ordered. but its like as though they used clear water instead of a broth. And there’s hardly any soup. The fish is extremely fresh, tho.

Mentaiko wedges. Zax gobbled everything but in my opinion it was way too dry, there’s no actual resonating flavor. Even the mentaiko tasted wayyy off. It’s like eating peanut butter with cardboard.

THIS. THIS IS THE FUCKING HIGHLIGHT. JUST LOOK AT IT. What the fuck is that black thing? WE DON’T KNOW BUT IT SURE TASTED AS LIKE ALL WEIRD BLACK THINGS DO. The TOFU, is fucking caramelized. with some peanut powder on top. Mix it with the queer black substance. WoW, I tell you.

Let me try to describe the feeling to you. It’s like you walk into a room. You see your mother having sex with the table. your sister is lying dead on the floor. And your dog is playing the guitar. It’s so fucking odd and fucked up and all happening at the same time that you don’t know how to concentrate on any one at one time nor how to react to anything at all.

in that ONE BITE. YES. YES.

NO. DONT EAT IT. 

Ok time for dessert. Look at it. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS THAT???? NEITHER DO I.

ITS AS AVERAGE AS your typical 2.8k MMR. NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO PLAY WITH THE BIG BOYS, BUT NOT BAD ENOUGH SO YOU CAN USE HIM AS UR +1.

Okay that’s the end of your goddess’ sacred judgement on the food at Initial D cafe.

All else that fails, it was a beautiful restaurant tho the staff kept looking at me like I am an insect. To think I still left tips.

YES. I walked the chilly streets of taipei in my shorts and sheer stockings. Contrary to popular beliefs where everyone thinks Taiwanese people run along the roads wearing cropped tops and shorts, they are all wrapped up like ba zhang (dumplings) and I believe they are so bolstered up that they may not die if a truck knocks into them. Probably just bounce away.

 We went into the heart of Xi Men Ding and it was bustling with life. Hell, its absolute nightlife over there because of their geographical position that makes the days short and nights longer. Perfect place for edward cullen if he ever wishes to learn Chinese.

Queued like crazy for this crepe which tasted pretty ordinary to me. But the staff’s service attitude was extraordinarily bad.

That’s one hell of a fine christmas tree. ToS sure did make alot of money scamming diamonds from us stupid shits, trying to defeat dem fucking impossible bosses. >Affirmative

Went to queue for the Famous Ah Zhong Mian Xian. It’s at Xi Men Ding.

So you know I have eaten Shih Lin Street Snacks my whole life and this Ah Zhong Mee Sua is actually a bold peppery taste and the ingredients inside are actually some really chewy bits of errr…. idk. LOL I THINK ITS SOME PART OF THE PIG LA BUT I REALLY NOT TOO SURE. Was quite delicious tho.

WE WENT TO THE FRICKING BIG BUILDING. ITS LIKE 6-7 LEVELS OF KTV by partyworld.

THE MOST AWESOME THING IS THAT YOU GET YOUR OWN FUCKING TOILET IN YOUR ROOM. LIKE JUST 3 STEPS AWAY. 

Its like fucking cheap??? About 14 sgd per person, you can sing till you die. till 5am. Free drinks and their taiwan beer is included. Yes dat drunkard mr lawyer was like “YES BEER. BEER FOR ALL. BEER BEER BEER”

DRINK, SING, GO TOILET, DRINK SOMEMORE.

We went to Jiu Fen Pu (9th District) On the second day. Jesus it was beautiful. We hired a personal taxi driver cum tourguide so the lovely lady brought us around the place. And quite unlike your typical tourguide, she was sincere, heartwarming and really dedicated.

I strongly suggest for you to visit the 9th district because of the rich heritage. Quite alot of tourists but you will find some good buys there. All your pineapple tarts and shits can be bought here. but choose the right shop. This is why you need a good tour guide. Ours brought us to this shop that sells the most excellent pineapple tarts. Its freshly made every morning.

You can ask me for the tourguide’s number or the shop name if you are interested.

Very beautiful and with that lovely traditional Chinese vibe.

Some foods that I tried there.

The first one is actually an ice cream with peanut powder and coriander which is…. pretty weird for me. But dat two fried prawn balls jesus. I NEVER KNEW I COULD LIKE BALLS SO MUCH.

Isn’t it beautiful? This is some exhibition of the Japan’s prince’s summer house or something. It’s all around the same area.

Beautiful and fresh air. Nothing much to do there, but you can just take a brisk walk and enjoy la. They’ve got fucking mountains leh. Sg only got bukit timah hill. with the monkeys and all.

Our very hopeless-romantic KY decided that he wants to bring us to put the Kong Ming Deng. It’s actually quite fun la to draw shit on the lantern and watch it disappear into the sky.

We completed the day with cheap street food. Lots of seafood holy shit.

This is my favorite photo of the boys. So adorable. You’ve got to try this steamboat buffet…. Its only slightly cheaper than your average Singapore price but I tell you… Scallops, crabs, large oysters, fresh prawns, fish… haagen daz, all free flow.

And they have the classic coke in a bottle which I really love.

Oh yes did i tell you, Mr Lawyer and I tried chicken testicle. WHAT THE FUCK.

when you bite into it, all the sperm explodes in your mouth. It’s like blowing a virgin and he erupts uncontrollably and without warning. YES. THAT’S THE FEELING.

But its a fucking chicken testicle. NO I DID NOT FINISH MINE. Mr lawyer did. I always suspected he was secretly gay. That has further confirmed my suspicions.

Very delicious Milk tea from seven-11. They use real milk. It’s damn awesome but the boys found it too milky to their liking.

This is my favorite day of the lot. Because yes we went to Dan Shui, and the famous Shih Lin night market. There were just too many games and we spent most of our money here. HAHAHA

The subway has advertorial posters of the dota characters for some … hp game? Not sure whats the name. Here’s my favorite character xD

The very first game booth I went. Simple toss the rings. I GOT NONE LOL.

The second one is my favorite game. SHOOTING gallery! Reminds me of those house of the dead arcade game days. HAHAHAHA.

It was really fun because they use the actual gun models. Very heavy and with the crosshair and everything. 200 NT per game… thats about 8 bucks. Pretty expensive but too fun not to play. HAHAHA

They have rows and rows of food stalls, game stalls and KY got this little puppy for me from the UFO catcher. Hes damn pro wtf??? Hidden talent. I never knew.

Then we headed to the lover’s bridge. If you are going as a couple I think its pretty meaningful? I was there with ky and zax… Poor Mr lawyer had to do work in the hotel.

To be honest im not a very cheesy person so all these don’t really carry much meaning for me. I think love ends somewhat … even in between couples.

But i saw this hanging by the fence near the bridge and it was so sad that it made me tear up. I’ve translated the chinese for you guys. Its a guy who apparently returned to the lover’s bridge after the break up with his ex gf. a sad reminisce. Sometimes I wonder if my ex will ever miss me this way. HAHAHAHA. I guess guys like that are worth keeping.

Another of my favorite games at the Shih Lin Market. Simply control the steer to tilt the board left or right so that the marble will move towards the goal. It takes dexterity, patience and good control of motion. Yes i completed the junior one xD LOL

I found something interesting about their toilets. They’ve got this screen that indicates which cubicle is unoccupied. LOL.

We went to 5th District on the second last day… and to be honest its the most wasted day of the trip. KY said its supposed to be many shops (kinda like bugist street) selling cheap clothes etc. Everything was winter wear and its actually pretty expensive. One dress is about 28-35 sgd? Bugis got like 10 dollars one la…. LOL

So we spent the whole day there, destitute of good food and then strolled the streets of taipei, Near Taipei 101. It’s pretty much like your standard Paragon kinda mall with all the super atas shops that can also be found in SG. so yeap, wasted as well. Nothing special.

We spent the last dinner at this shitty place called Fishhouse, at Xi Men Ding and it was damn terrible. Don’t ever eat there, though the decor is nice. No wonder we looked around and realized no one else ordered food but us.

Damn.

LOOKS CAN BE SO DECEIVING YEAH YEAH YEAH

We ended the last night back at the party world singing and lapping up all the cheap taiwan beer like thirsty whores.

Last breakfast before leaving Taipei, KY brought us to this fish market. It’s like a real market that sells fresh/live seafood and a Japanese concept. You can choose your products (ready to eats and groceries), pay at the cashier and then eat along the tables provided outside.

Just look at that thick slices of salmon sashimi. YOOOOOOOOO. that’s about 7.40 Sgd only. Omg.

I really loved how they store the rice. So traditional. lol

Tasted awesome too. But okay la being kiasu singaporeans we ended up with too much food that we had to tabao it with us.

Very fulfilling! HEHEHE.

I went home with scary eyebags. Just be prepared to get less than 5 hours of sleep nightly if you really want to make the most of your trip. 😀

I hope I didn’t bore ya’ll out with this post. HEHE. All the shit ton of photos are over at my fb album~~

SO WE HAVE COME TO THE END OF THIS POST, THANKS FOR YOUR KIND ATTENTION GUYS.

Just to add, I will start streaming my dota 2 very soon! And if you would like to follow me first, please do. I will appreciate it very much. My twitch id is : valeisky

❤