Went out with him that night. And then he popped the question. And I told him I don’t know yet. As you know, although it has been months since Z has left my life. I am still afraid.

Im running out of playing cards. And I thought about how I always wanted to get married early. I think it’s so hard to find someone that falls in love with you every day. But well yeah. I see glimpses of what I want in a man, in this guy. Why is it that the heart and the mind will never agree amicably?

It has been long since someone waited hours for me without complaining, says sorry even when it wasn’t his fault, always was there when I got into a mess. Kisses my forehead and tells me that I look beautiful every single day. How long has it been since I felt this way?

But I am afraid. Because things hardly ever go my way.

Inner Strength

I guess the only part of my life that is going well right now, is the fact that my heart is still beating and I wake up to realize I am breathing.

And also, maybe, one more point to be happy about is that I drew perfect eyes today. I’m sorry. Moodless face on.


I remembered reading this essay about Grass; its will of survival and the strength it possesses. The higher Chinese essay was repleted with tough words. But it contained this particular phrase that somehow seemed to be etched in my mind even till now.

“Can you imagine, such a tiny blade of grass that can be easily bent in strong wind, can withstand a human stepping on it. This grass, has such a strong will to live that it stretches its roots far far into the ground, to stand up firmly, strongly, against all the elements.”

And so from then I realized life, simply is the most beautiful thing. And all living things are made to cherish it. So must I.

I need to let go of pain. Especially the people who caused it.

Also, that annoying hater who conscientiously reads all my blog posts wishing that I die somehow. I won’t be replying you anymore because it’s not worth it. I hope you go do something more remarkable with the time spent.

Well, Good luck to myself. Your only best friend, is one looking back at you in the mirror.

City of dreams :O

all that glitters is not gold.

Hola pitches I am back~

Yes I went to catch Pitch Perfect 2. Like WTS… reminds me of J. It was still a decent movie, albeit the cheesy lines… But you know you can’t complain when Anna Kendrick floods most of the screen time with her unworldly beauty.

So… I went to Macau recently. Call me ignorant but it was my first time there. I never found the need to take my wanderlust down to a place filled with casinos; Because I don’t gamble.

Ironically I went to Macau to take part in the GCE exhibition as part of an event job under the grace of an old friend. If you are not ambitious like me, who believes I’ll never be rich enough to make it to Las Vegas, you should certainly find time to give Macau a go. Its beautiful. Not completely unexpected, but will still awe you.


Let me take you on a pretty visual journey of my short trip there. YAY MY STORY BEGINS.

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Once upon a time, your goddess had to lug her extremely heavy VS luggage along with her ROG (4.3kg excluding charger) and still have to look dainty in order to complement her ST bag. She took public transport to the airport. It was a journey of sweat and blood.

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I know right… Leather skirt, cropped top with a gaming lappy mashes up with a totally irrelevant soft pink bag. And a pair of staggeringly high stilettos.

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Goodbye kiss to my baby. He dat poor thing. Only spent close to 4 days with me in the entire of May.

I couldn’t resist toast box’s laksa. I felt guilty after the first spoonful of delicious gravy because I had a pre ordered meal on board. I took tiger. Well… direct flight + excellent timing. Why not!

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I mean no offense to Tiger Air, but really, the food sucks. Not only is the packaging damn terrible… Do you know those silky tofu that you can buy from NTUC that comes in this white plastic box with ridges and a transparent film on top. Just imagine this costs you about 9 bucks on board the flight. No tofu, but Contains barely edible rice and cardboard that tastes suspiciously like vacuumed dried chicken.



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You know there’s this movie where someone got mistaken for a celebrity and then embarks on the “celebrity” life. I felt like that the moment I stepped out of the arrival gate. There was a man waiting for me. In a suit and tie. Holding a beautiful signboard. Not those makeshift paper scribbled in dried sharpie. But a proper board, with my name printed out firmly and surely.

Amber Tan.

What? Is that for me?

I pretended not to look fazed as T (my friend) did mention pick up will be arranged. No, it wasn’t mistaken identity. I knew I was staying at Banyan Tree. The man had the BT logo on his chest. He looked at me politely and took my luggage.

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LOL i probably seemed like some crazy stalker to passerbys whilst i snapped this.

Ok are we going to board some kind of Hotel catered mini bus or what.


no it wasnt.

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It was a freaking Mercedes Limo. What in the actual fuck.


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They had bottled water by the sides and fresh wet towels spritzed with a hint of the iconic tea tree scent. Truly BT.

“How was your flight, Ms Amber?” The chauffeur asked in such an impossibly polite way I almost teared up.

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Is this how Paris Hilton travel every day. Man, how many people get to actually experience this in their lifetime?

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I caught sight of Galaxy. Its kinda like this Trinity of multi billion enterprises. If memory did not fail me, I think its 3 companies and their sister groups joining forces to create the mega wonder called Galaxy. And I will be staying, in the Banyan Tree Villa.

Trust me, I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. But according to T, the employer who hired me is a high roller at the Galaxy, and thus the Villa is complimentary. Not sure how high he rolls but….


The villa: 

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The living room is almost half of my house. Everything is elegantly set, with an oriental touch. Glass windows separates the space from an outdoor private pool, mezzanine area and jacuzzi. The sofa seats are comfy and welcoming. Room was delightfully lit to a soft warm glow.

A welcome snack/fruit cage (supposed to be a platter but its in the shape of a cage) + complimentary wine adorned the coffee table. THEY FUCKING HAVE FASHION TV OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

Master bedroom

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An opulent bed nestled in the middle of the room. It was a King sized bed with intricate thread-counts and earth colored pillows. Everything was tastefully made to complement each other.

Massage room

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Kinda looks like coffins from here HA HA HA OMG. Apparently when you are earning too much money and refuse to mix with dem mortals, you can call for In-room massage services. AND GUESS WHAT. the stay comes with 4 complimentary 90mins massages. I wanted to take all 4 but I had time constraint >.>


Mini bar

macau 23 Bottled water, espresso shots, arrays of TWC teabags, chocolates, wines, take your pick!

Master bedroom’s toilet


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Because yes, just in case you are shy (or kinky) and want to do nude sauna in private.

A shower area overlooking the pool. Floor tiles of cool marble, and perfectly smoothed stone walls.

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I did get permission to use the jacuzzi and sauna. OH MY GOD. THAT WHOLE BIG TUB TO MYSELF. With the bubbles and oscillating jet sprays. All that was missing.. were a couple of naked, feisty, cute young virgin boys. HA HA HA HA

My room (Guest bedroom)

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I assume its for 2, but it fits 4. As usual, beautiful sheets and a comfortable glow. Two queen beds. Guess which one I took. HAHAHA. BUT FUCK I CAN LIE HORIZONTALLY ACROSS BOTH BEDS IF I WANTED TO.

Its my toilet on the left of the cupboard. But I just had to take a photo of the door. Because its so gorgeous. Reminds me of those Gu Dai China shows. Lolol.

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They have two types of bathrobes. One lightweight and silky, the other cottony and thick. Comes with matching bath slippers.

The toilet is heaven. To nobody’s surprise, I spent most of my free time in the toilet.

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The entire villa has this moat concept used in those medieval castles. Beautiful pool tiles covered the moat and gave the “Your fucking room is on top of water” feel. You can bathe naked (duh) and stare out at the placid water. It’s serene and peaceful. I like water. just not when its trying to drown me.

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Hell yeah did your goddess SOAK THE SHIT OUT OF THE BATH TUB.

Just in case you are lazy to clean yourself, fret not! Neorest is here. With a gentle push of button, you can now have a stream of warm water to help sanitize  your ass. Want it higher? no problem. Harder? Sure!!! How about with rhythmic pattern.

Finally, make your ass feel right at home by blasting it dry with a warm “Ass dryer”. The toilet bowl is equipped to blow em dry. Never had the habit of flushing? Don’t worry. Once the bowl detects you are leaving, it flushes and then the lid goes down on its own.

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I can safely say it was the most conducive shitting environment ever.

Outdoor pool

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It rained pretty much all the time so i hardly had the chance to swim outdoors. But I did squeeze in a few laps here and there and also got the chance to dip in the outdoor Jacuzzi. Pity I was unable to fulfill my kinky dream of stark swimming and lazing in the Jacuzzi with dem jets teasing my nips because IMAGINE THE BOSS WALKS IN. I WILL GET FIRED and/or IT BECOMES A REAL TIME PORN MOVIE.

Just kidding. He had his wife/gf with him so it was all cool.

I was in a red bikini 😀

The Jacuzzi was really really beautiful, in the heart of the outdoor space, encased completely in glass with water so clear, you can see the merry stream of bubbles going up. It was my favorite thing in the whole villa (second to the toilet bowl)  I lied there for quite abit, enjoying the heat in the middle of a rainy day.


I included a short video lolol.

The Venetian

this is another hotel chain, supposedly built to mimick Venice because the owner’s wife is in love with the architectural design there. He has another one in Las Vegas. This one is larger than the one in Las Vegas!. Freaking awesome man. For those of you who actually paid attention to your social studies book in secondary school just like me, you will find remarkable resemblance to those pictures in the textbook.

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Its like you are teleported to another era. The whole place is mesmerizing. Gold IS the primary color. The high ceilings are decked with intricate paintings that told stories.


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The courtyard too is not spared from the erudite detailing.

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For history lovers, Im pretty sure you know what this mock-up is. It is the mini version of the actual tower, St Mark’s Campanile. It was used as a watch tower in Venice, Italy and considered one of their landmarks.

The designers really did put in their best effort to make imitation of the real Venice down to the T! But I am pretty sure the water in Venice isn’t as clear, and neither are the buildings as new and shiny. I would love to visit them one day, however.

I had my first meal of the trip at the Venetian. It was Portuguese.

macau 39 macau 40 T was with me to pass me my pass and work brief so he brought me to this restaurant. It’s pork knuckle with mustard and Portuguese fried rice. It was my first time trying the cuisine but well I guess my tastebuds weren’t a fan. Still delicious tho.


Galaxy at night~

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One of my favorite restaurants was actually the one at Banyan Tree called Saffron. Staying in the villa entitles free daily breakfast there for up to 4 guests. Being a cheapo aunty obviously I went there to settle all my breakfasts hehehe.



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I really loved the spread. The array of food choices varies daily except for the few staples such as cereals and fruits. What makes it fantastic is that both the western and eastern food are done equally well. And the ingredients are all really fresh and wholesome. I had many bowls of porridge and 3rds of fruits. Just look at how well matched the fruits are. Colorful and certainly whets anyone’s appetite.

They have a huge table of decanters filled with all kinds of Freshly squeezed juices. Yummy~

And yes I did knock myself out with the Cheese board and cuts of ham. The smoked salmon is also one of the most memorable. Different from those usually found in salads and hotel buffets, this smoked salmon is perfectly smoked with just a tinge of salt. Thus, you can eat slice after slice without feeling like your kidney has died.


Well. You didn’t think I was just there to be a princess right. Your goddess still has to work~

G2E Asia

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Many gaming giants were there. I saw a local company and also our well loved Konami. lol

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Just in case you are wondering, its an automated Baccarat dealer.

Here’s a clip of how it works. LOL.


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I felt the 4 power ranger colored girls looked pretty odd on the screen. But the red one is hot tho.

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Its a digital world now man. Even the girls are merely just recording and streaming it online. It actually does beat sitting at the table dealing for hours.

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The machines are free to play as to give potential buyers a feel of how it works. I love playing plants vs zombies so as to nobody’s surprise I actually slacked there for quite long spinning LOL.

(It was actually just that the admin girl filled it up wrongly.) HAHAHA.

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Wynn hotel:

This is a beautiful and classic hotel with a touch of elegance. There’s a bigger one in Las Vegas. Sadly, the owner has passed 😦

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Had lunch at their noodle house. They are famous for their duck.

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The roasted duck pancake was only average much to my disappointment because the waitresses forgot about it and thus it was cold when served. However the BBQ pork was just too good. I slurped up everything.

One part of the Wynn’s gallery had this beautiful but strange looking thing.

The ceiling as pictured here, is extremely detailed carvings of the 12 zodiacs.

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Right below it, is something that looks like the tip of a globe, but looking at the suggestive lines, I suspected it will open up.

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And it did! It was a performance that occurs every half hour. Its actually just a golden dragon on a moving platform but it was so majestic that everyone was snapping away.

BEING AN AUNTY YES I RECORDED IT HAHAHAHA. The atmosphere when you are there, wow. You cant feel it from the video tho. Just hear the Prcs making sound effects. HAHAHA


Dinner at Wynn,
Ristorante Il Teatro

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its a pretty sassy Italian fine dining place. Boss decided to give us a treat. Thus a few of his workers went, T was there too. and whilst some took the cosy booth seats, I was asked to sit by the large glass windows overlooking a super huge fountain. They said “Its your first time here. You need to sit there.”


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But there weren’t any GAGS-ish prank. It  was how I watched the best water performance of my life. It was so beautiful!!!

Turn up your speakers. The song is in synchronization with the water jets. It gets exciting at around 0.32!

I was so enthralled. Captivating bro. I want to go and lie in the middle of it. The boss added I was very lucky because that was the best performance out of the few that the hotel has. HAHA.


SO OK BACK TO THE DINNER. The food there was… well fine dining. HAHA.

This was my favorite dish. Generous and well seasoned Foie Gras with pear sauce. ITS FREAKING AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

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I had mushroom soup. For my main course, I ordered short necked clams with queen scallops risotto. It was really tasty and the rice was skillfully simmered. However, the only disappointment was that the dish was too salty. I couldn’t finish it. I finished 3 glasses of water just to get to half of the plate.

macau 81macau 82macau 80 3Their complimentary sweet; a gummy and a chocolate with nut inside. I really loved that little board. Wanted to smuggle it home. LOLOL

This is the link to the restaurant, in case you wanna bring your date there. Btw, its not cheap. D:


Feel free to bring me there too. LOL. I DONT MIND BEING A LIGHTBULB.


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Wuz dotaing there. Well nothing can stop the goddess from her feeding sprees… NOT EVEN 4.3kgs.

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Yes whilst spending time in the glorious toilet before going to work I realized the lighting was so good and it made my skin look perfect. I HAD TO TAKE A SNAP Oh myyyyyyyyy.

Do i look like I am balding or wat.


Hotel Okura, Yamazato restaurant.

It turns out T managed to close a deal so he decided to bring me to this really nice restaurant Okura, which is within Galaxy itself, right beside Banyan Tree.

He said he has only been there once with his girlfriend but it was so good, he wanted to bring me there since it was my last night at Macau.

It was my favorite out of all my food escapades there. The food was too good and makes you reminisce about the flavors and textures long after its digested.(and excreted) HAHA.

The lift lobby at 28th feels like you have been encapsulated into space. The walls are glittery.

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Really good sashimi. Salmon belly, tuna and yellowtail. The lady told me that the flowers can be eaten. And so I tried it. HAHAHA.

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Very good grilled codfish.

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I thought nothing of sushi. As you know, I hate rice. And it looks fairly decent in the photo right? BUT IT IS SO GOD DAMN DELICIOUS. The chef did not use a shit load of rice. It was all packed with fish, soft shell crab, etc.

It was so good. I really loved the soft shell crab one with the roe on top.

Here’s more information about the restaurant.



I was really really happy when I was there. Felt good to spend a few days in ephemeral luxury. HAHAHA. I hope you guys enjoyed the pictures and will be planning a vacation there soon. Its worth it!. (btw the SASA there is fucking cheap)

See you guys soon. I am about 70% done with my mermaid story. Its abit too long. Trying to cut down on my avid imagination that transforms into lengthy descriptions.

I love you and thanks for supporting my blog 🙂
(even the hater who consistently reads and leaves his hateful comments)



I didn’t drown nor get eaten by sharks nor get stuck in the propeller wheel as some hater hoped for. I enjoyed every single moment of my diving trip to tioman. Holy camel, you guys need to add diving to your bucket list. ITS FREAKING AWESOME AND LIKE YOU GET TO SEE HOW FISHES ACTUALLY ARE LIKE BEFORE THEY END UP WITH GINGER AND SOY SAUCE ON YOUR TABLE.

but wait, before i start my long and naggy story; I need to fucking exclaim WHY MY DICK POST (the MAYFLY one) has so many views?!?!?/ All you freaking perverts come just to see the dick pic. holy shit. y’all naughty lil fucks.

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I took my diving course with LEEWAY (you can google it, quite legit ok). The price includes everything such as transport to tioman, diving lessons + license + food + lodging + gear rental.

The really cute (but rather cranky) mini bus took us to Mersing jetty. FRIDAY NIGHT CUSTOMS DAMN JAMMED OK JUST LETTING U KNOW ITS MADNESS. WAT IS AIR BRO. i couldn’t breathe when I was queuing to get through the automated gantry.

The mini bus made a pit stop at a random petrol kiosk to refuel. It kinda reminded me of the fun days with Z as he drove from KL to JB. I’ll wait in the car as he heads to the convenience store, coming back with tidbits for me.

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Ya sorry its a fucking cheesy pose but hell its 11pm I have insomnia. who the fuck cares.

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We are at the jetty late at night, with no one else except for a grumpy cat and god damn cockroaches.

Finally, after a really scary cockroach made an appearance, our boat is here. The heroic man who saved me from the 6 legged horror had some leftover carcass juice on his slipper.

All of us walked to the pier. It was pitch black. We then boarded this extremely mini speedboat driven by this guy who looks like pudge. He’s the literal Asian pudge. I think he took up half of the maximum allowed weight. As our boat sped off in the speed of light but with no lights. it was really, truly, black, blacker than my face when I realized my fridge is empty. Images of us crashing like Titanic kept flooding my mind. I wondered how our pudge navigated so confidently.

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A funny shot of our dear Juehua hahaha.

That was taken when we boarded the larger fleet from the small speedboat. Its our actual dive boat that we will be using for all of our dives. Pretty cool!!!

I think some of the boatmen live on the boat.

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I got really excited when I saw all the air tanks neatly lined up, ready to be used.

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bunk beds! just like in those star cruises that gong gong used to take me on. hahahaha.

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We finally reached the lobby of Berjaya hotels and Resorts. It’s too late to see anything but like wtf at 2am in the night you see a freaking woman standing alone in the eerily quiet lobby. PONTIANAK OMG

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I don’t know who the hell will put a mannequin there but seriously that shit is no joke.

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But okay la the other side of the lobby looks pretty good. Has that woody nature feel. I really like it. It feels like a haven to relax in, get back in touch with Earth and forget about your bills.

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This beautiful picture was taken by Yama when we arrived. The night sky there is really beautiful. The stars were out. It felt like someone had dusted glitter all over the celestial skies, creating an accidental starry masterpiece.

My buddy (Shirley) and I bunked up with another trainee diver from another school. Hes in his early forties i think? And he wears nothing but an underwear to bed. its pretty cute. HAHA

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Some pictures of how our little huts look like. Its adorable. Quaint and cosy, has that back-to-basics feel that I really adore except that there’s grass.

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Just imagine, they are still using the old fashioned door knocker. HAHAHAHA.

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Pardon my unkempt and lackluster appearance. It’s kind of silly to put full make up and dive into 10 meters of saltwater. unless you’re telling me that nemo is a millionaire. Hell, I’ll even don high heels to visit him.

There’s this main foodhall where all the buffets (paid for in the package) are conducted. Man, it’s quite the spread, although it contains certain dubious looking malaysian-ish food.

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I know… I’m a freaking pig. I had another bowl of porridge after that. HAHA

Just wanted to show you guys a few more photos of the resort, Its really scenic and for us Singaporeans and city folks, its totally like a fresh new perspective.

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Just looking at the clarity of the sea, its almost unbelievable that such a place is so affordable and pretty easy to get to. Look at the (is that a mountain..) It probably contains tigers and poisonous snakes but who cares it looks gorgeous from afar :’D

And yes… Yama enjoys being in most of my photos.

We were learning navigation… Look at that compass. Ain’t nobody got time to learn that shit. It took me awhile :”D as you all know, your goddess can’t do topography to save her life (literally) and that pretty much includes the innate ability to read a compass.

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Do i look like a technician… I think I do. I look like those fireman who’s on their break. yes, stop staring at Shirley’s boobs.

THIS IS LIKE A HORRENDOUSLY UGLY PHOTO OF ME BUT its the only one i’ve got that isn’t blurred as the boat is speeding D:

diving 37 diving 39 diving 40Yes that’s our dear hulk.

It’s a nice feeling to be on the dive boat. The span of sea lies generously sprawled in front of you with such vast serendipity. 
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I can’t really describe how does it feel like to be staring at the open water. < >
But looking at that clear liquid, its so welcoming. It’s beckoning you to take a dip and let the therapeutic waves carry your thoughts far away. (hopefully it doesn’t carry you far away too)

You know whats the best feeling? Its when you are finning lying on your back against the water, staring up at the endless sky. Its such a serene stretch of picturesque delight that is just ineffable. The sky seem to run forever and ever, creating this thin line of a horizon that merges with the sparkling sea. I couldn’t hear anything, other than the boat buzzing along. But the beauty of what was in front of me was so deafening. I felt so utterly embraced by nature that I really wanted to protect it when I remembered how dangerous it can be, yet still rendered defenseless in the hands of us humankind.

So soppy literature aside, all of us entered the water via Giant Stride. I think it’s an adrenaline rush (and pretty scary) when you are all geared up and standing at the edge of the boat because all the thoughts of asphyxiation and great whites start flooding your mind. But really to hell with it. Nothing is scarier than a flying cockroach. PLOP and down we go!

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It’s amazing down there. (that’s what she said)

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SEE THE TURTLE. i did not take these photos. Most of them are from Yama, or Kelvin, our dive instructor. I DID NOT SEE THE TURTLE THERE AND THEN HOWEVER BECAUSE MY MASK HAD SOME PROBLEMS. Well well. 😥

YES THATS ME HAHAHAHAHA I look like a retard with the mask on.

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The sea is so quiet… actually it made sense. Imagine the marine life can talk. Dem fishes gon be like

“Omg, did you hear about Julie? I heard she slept with like, a grouper. Isn’t that illegal?”
“Pfft, Susan’s spots are so much prettier than mine. ”
“What’s for dinner hon? I gotta stay back at our reef with the other dads. It’s hide-n-reef game day tonight.”


Showing you some beautiful photos:

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Freaking sea urchins. they are everywhere.

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We found nemo and he doesn’t look too happy to see people peeking at him. I guess this wasn’t the one that acted in the movie. HA HA.

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I really liked the resort. Also because the food and service is not too shabby!

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Just your average crazy guys eating half a tub of ice cream. I don’t know why the fuck they did that. but i dont think their stomachs are pleased with such a magnificent choice of ice cream explosion.

I was constantly hungry after dives, thank god for potato.

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So yes, that was the summary of my Tioman diving trip. I strongly urge you guys to go learn diving. You will definitely fall in love with the special world… 12 feet under the buzz of your every day life. My macau trip will be coming up soon :’D

Sorry for the long hiatus guys. Your goddess has been doing some serious travelling xD