hell bound.

heart’s an empty vessel, bound by the chains of the tormenting charades.
in that blinding pain and parasitic contempt,
i failed to realize i had more to gain than lose,

if i just let go.

yet my wings are soaked in guilt, doused in the flames of eternal regret.
fear… is the worst rebirth of a heartbreak.

I want to live in Taiwan forever.

Hola, your goddess is back safe and sound + fat from her Taipei trip.

I will sort out the photos and then you guys have to promise you read the fantastic post till the end, word by word if you ever want to go Taipei during the winter okay?

For now, typing is diffcult because I have put a cone on Lycan and he isn’t too happy about it. Thus he decided the best way to exact revenge is to make full use of the conical properties of the plastic and nudging his way in between my laptop and me. I CANT FUCKING TYPE.

Current position:


Look at that motherfucking face. HAHA
I managed to make a video. Pardon my manly voice. I have yet to recover from my cough.



Anyway there’s something that has been bothering me for very long and I just want to speak up for myself as well as people who are just like me. Being particular about the quality of service you get does not make you a bitch. I have received a few comments from people, even some of my own friends and my ex (can you believe it. even my own friends say that about me) that I am very bad tempered/bitchy towards certain service people.

And it pisses me off because they think its okay for the service crew to be bad tempered but I on the receiving end is bitchy for expressing my unhappiness in return? As like how every hypocritical human being is, no one remembers that I am the one who gives the extra tip, I’m the one who makes the service crew smile, the one who says my “please” and “thanks” . I am the one who helps the kid take more flyers to ease his job. I am the one who writes the compliment letters and the one who clears her own tray at the eateries.

All these? It comes naturally because I am in the service industry as well. When you enter a shop, or is about to engage a service, in simple analogy, it’s like approaching a large dog.

If the dog wags its tail, paws at you playfully, it gives you the signal “Welcome welcome! Please hug me.” and then you will obviously be like “omg… so fucking cute. I want to keep him.”

But if the dog starts growling even before you can talk, what will be your natural reaction? Fear, anger, confusion. “Why is the dog behaving this way? I am not even here to hurt him.” Then one thing leads to another, you will be less inclined and less open to embracing more interactions with the dog. You may even be on defense mode in case you get hurt. 

In my entire life as a service crew, I have encountered nasty customers. However, at the end of the day, no matter what comes out of that service engagement that went wrong, I can safely say that “Look, I have given it my best. I smiled, put on my best behavior, tried to compromise. But it was rejected.” Most of the nasty customers made the quarrel something personal, and of deep insult, such as (you have no brains thats why you work here instead of working as a lawyer or doctor, i paid for your service so you are supposed to allow me to scold you stupid and useless, i am in a bad mood thus i am allowed to vent it on you and make things inconvenient for you and the other customers)

However, I can proudly say that I have received many compliments from customers that I have attended to in my 4 years of life as a service crew. I’m just going to once again say the cliche tagline, “It always starts with a smile”

Someone told me this:  “Oh please, the poor waitress has been working since 9am till now, shes tired. Give her a break. It’s ok for her not to smile nor be friendly to you”

Really? I worked 10-10.30 every day last time and I can still say “Hello! Welcome to _____ ! What would you like to have? ” I have flown to Perth and back in the wee hours of the day, meaning I haven’t slept in the past 20 hours and I can still say “Hello sir what can I get for you?” I can still help the poor China aunties and uncles to fill up their CIQ forms one by one till I got scolded by my senior for being overly helpful.

Alot of Singaporeans wonder why we are being replaced by foreigners. From my personal point of view, I believe Singaporeans are too spoilt. Because you are simply not bothered to give it your best. You think you are better than the others. You think the shop you work at is too popular and thus people will still beg you for the product even if you are alarmingly rude. Mind you, I have seen so many China/Malaysians/Philippines service crew that are always smiling and ready to offer their apologies when needed. Because they really need the money, maybe. But if that drive for money can result in such fantastic attitude at work, I will definitely hire a foreigner if I too am the employer.

This is your job. When you are doing it, give it your best. I think its absolutely wrong to make up excuses such as “they are tired” “if you are them you will also be like that” “you are being sensitive”.

Z always make fun of me when I lose my temper at him. He’d say “Walao, why when you talking to the customers at work or when you are talking to the waiters and waitresses you are always so sweet, then when talk to me all the vulgarities come out.”

I think that statement speaks for itself. HAHAHA.

Okay I have finished ranting. In conclusion, I just want to remind you guys that there is nothing wrong with expecting good service from the people serving you. Because this is part of their job scope, not a bonus. And this comes from me speaking from a non-hypocritical point of view. In all benefit of the doubt, you can always feel free to drop by the restaurant I work at to see it for yourself.

Will update with the taiwan post in a few days 😀

Mere illusions.

Have you ever missed someone so much, that in your bed at 3am, that longing keeps you wide awake. Your body is immobilized by the encapsulating pain of their absence. Recollection of their touch sent tingles down your palm, to your fingertips, of which that electrifies you with sardonic emptiness.
You cannot erase, how well you remember, the ridges of their bodies, the distance of their heads away from the edge of the pillow you shared.
You cannot forget… how much they loved you. the only thing that remains unchanged now, is the familiar ceiling, the shrouding darkness, and the cycle of waking up to realize things will never be the same anymore.

Hola, peasants. 🙂

Your goddess has been having insomnia. My eye bags are like 50 shades of black.

Anyway, bad things aside, have you guys made your shitty lil new year resolutions that no one really bothers to stick to after awhile?

I will be going Taiwan soon. Don’t miss me too much okay? If anyone needs me to buy them something (I’ll be going taipei) let me know in advance. I am leaving on the 8th.


This is a screenshot I took whilst playing sims 3. I loaded every expansion pack I have + about 600mb of custom downloads, and it still runs smoothly. The game has originally set the graphic settings to high, but said it failed to recognize the graphic driver. I am not surprised… 970m is really new 😀

I am soooooo happy to be a hermit and just seek refuge in my virtual world on this beautiful laptop and just create the stories I always wanted to have in my life but will never get the chance to have.


Stay safe and enjoy this awesome start of the year okay? I have a feeling it’s going to be a great one. I read this wallet fengshui article on facebook (forgot who shared it) and I realized I have already been following the fengshui rules leh. Truth to be told I am not a millionaire yet, but okay la, at least not losing money. HAHAHA.

Here’s the tips if you wanna try your luck to get rich 😉

1) Wallet has to be black, (to get richer) or brown (to save more money).

2) Never use blue or red/orange! Blue = liquid = spend money like water. LOL. red/orange = burning = burning ur money

3) Don’t use odd shaped wallets. The best will be elongated ones so that your notes will be straight, not folded.

4) That being said, its all because you have to respect your wallet & the money inside if you want fortune to respect you in return.

5) How to respect your wallet? Don’t dirty it, or leave it lying around. Always put it in a safe and comfy place. (But of course you don’t need to make a bed with blanket for it la)

6) Always treat your money with love and care by making sure they are sorted out properly and arranged in an orderly fashion (eg, all facing the same direction, and by numerical value order.) I have always done that because I have OCD ;D

7) Don’t clutter your wallet with shits like receipts of how much money you spend, bills that indicate how much debts you incurred, expired membership cards and etc.

8) I have always followed this one – Put more cash in your wallet, and it will “Grow” more cash. Don’t always have like, less than 5 dollars in your wallet. My parents used to say, wealth is “Attracted” to people with fortune. I have always made it a point to have at least 300 dollars in my wallet that can’t be touched, and an additional 100$ in my cards’ pouch.

Have fun guys!