Losing grip

I am sure all of us know that feeling, that feeling of allowing someone to have complete control of your emotions whether or not it was intentional. How your conversations will affect your mood for the entire day. or the lack of them.

Will you hold on to something that has only a mere 10% chance of working out? And for that tiny fucking 10%, you have to put in 1000% of yourself, and more.

You are stuck, you can’t turn back now. Yet you don’t know how to carry on. For that remaining 90% that wouldn’t work out, your brain is telling you to abandon ship. But your heart is crying, screaming, begging you, saying “PLEASE DON’T LET GO. HE IS THAT 1 IN A MILLION.” And then you scream back:

IF HE IS, IT WOULDN’T HURT.

but you still succumbed. you pray to yourself one day your heart will give up. you pray for that moment of epiphany, that you were so fucking dumb. However, that moment isn’t here yet.

 

Enough of my rants. I know I haven’t been updating. Damn… too much dota, but my mind is still cluttered. Will come back soon. I promise.